How to Help Jealous Children
A very young child especially can easily become jealous of a new parent's partner, siblings or other children, if he thinks that mum or dad is showing these others more attention. Often children are not good at sharing and need help to overcome tantrum-throwing or a tendency to grab toys from other kids. Jealousy is a trait that can diminish with age, but there are some ways you can help your child deal with this frustrating emotion.
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Instructions
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Avoid getting angry with your child if she starts to display attention-seeking behavior. There is usually a reason for sudden behavior changes, so take time to find out what is at the bottom of it. If you have recently had another child, she may be feeling insecure and worrying that you don't love her anymore. Perhaps she thinks she's not good enough and that's why you wanted another child. Similar concerns sometimes occur when a single parent takes a new partner. Even parents showing attention to other children can upset a child. Small children are programmed to see their parents as belonging to them alone. This makes them unsympathetic to their parents in other roles, but jealousy caused by this mindset is something they should grow out of over time.
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Talk to your child about his behavior and ask about the way he feels. Help him understand that feeling jealous is entirely normal and that it does not make him a bad person. Explain that it is fine for him to tell you if he has these feelings; and there is no need for him to act out by bullying siblings or throwing tantrums. Point out ways in which he is lucky compared with a new baby, for instance, if this is his issue. There are advantages to being the older child that he may not have noticed. He gets to go and play with his friends and has a later bedtime, for example.
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Spend special time with your child, so that she knows she is as important to you as a new partner or child, for example. Set aside a set period every week to do an activity with her that she particularly enjoys; as well as some time to relax together. This also gives her an opportunity to bring up concerns with you on a one-to-one basis.
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Tips & Warnings
Your child is more likely to be jealous if he feels left out of new relationships you have. Make an effort to involve him as much as possible. You could ask him to help you out with a new baby, for example, or try and have as many shared meals as possible, where he and your new partner are both in attendance.
References
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