How to Get Over the Hurt of an Affair

Be honest and straightforward when communicating.

The hurt you feel after your spouse has had an affair can be startling. You may feel betrayed, abandoned and lied to among other emotions. In order to move past the affair and move on with your life--with or without your spouse--you will need to accept what happened. To heal from the devastating hurt you feel, take it one step and one day at a time.

Instructions

1. Be patient with yourself and your relationship. It takes time to heal from an unfaithful spouse. Try taking some time apart so that you can be alone with your thoughts and work through your emotions without distractions and relationship pressures.

2. Get support from friends and family who have gone through the same type of heartbreak. Relating to others who can speak from personal experience is an important part of your own healing because it shows you the possibility of moving past the affair.

3. Seek professional help to discuss your feelings about the affair, the obstacles you are facing and advice for healing. If you have decided to stay with your spouse, you should also consider marriage counseling to work through your problems as a couple.

4. Keep the line of communication open between you and your spouse. Share your thoughts, feelings and concerns while being completely open and honest. Do not hold back or sugarcoat how you are feeling after the affair.

5. Find a way to forgive your spouse, whether or not you decide to stay married. You don't have to try to forget about what happened, but try to forgive her for what she did to you and your marriage. Let her know what she must do in order to gain your trust again.

References

• Mayo Clinic: Infidelity: Mending Your Marriage After an Affair
• Reader's Digest Version: 15 Steps to Surviving an Affair; Sarì Harrar