How to Handle Family Problems for Children

Be honest with your child when your family is having a problem.

While children often cannot understand many of the problems that families struggle with, such as divorce, alcohol or drug addiction, death of a family member or financial hardships, the problems can affect the child all the same. If your family is going through an issue, it is best to talk to your child about it rather than pretending it is not happening. Children pick up on more than their parents often realize, so addressing a problem head-on can help the child to deal with it better.

Instructions

1. Talk to your child before he begins asking questions, especially if you know he is noticing stress or changes. Starting early with the conversation can stop him from acting out or being stressed out about the situation.

2. Be as honest as you think is appropriate with the child. For example, if you are having marital problems because your spouse is cheating, the details likely are not necessary. Simply tell the child that you and his father are having a problem that sometimes happens in marriages. If you are trying to work it out, tell him. If you are not, tell him that the two of you will be living apart, but that you will always be a family. Likewise, if you are having financial problems, he does not need to know the dollar figure of your debt. Simply tell him that you will be cutting back on extras and working harder to earn more money, but that he will always have the things he needs.

3. Avoid causing more worry or panic in the child. Be honest about the family problem, but talk to the child as though you have everything under control and things will be fine. Even if you don't feel that way, keeping the child calm is important.

4. Let the child ask any questions he might have and be as honest as you can. Don't give him unrealistic hopes, such as that everything will be back to normal on a certain date, if you aren't sure that it's true.

5. Leave the subject open for him to continue to ask questions at a later date if he thinks he needs to talk to you again. Making the subject taboo will only make him worry about the problem more and feel more disconnected from the family.

References

• Children Now: Talking With Kids About Tough Issues
• Savings Account Finder; How to Talk To Your Kids About Bad Family Finance Problems; May 27, 2011