How to Deal With Distrust in a Partner

Distrust in a relationship can be extremely damaging. It does not take a lot to lose your partner's trust; however, it takes hard work and time to earn it back. When your partner has done something to cause distrust, there are ways to deal with it and make it better. If you cannot trust your partner, for whatever reason, consider trying some of these steps to handle the distrust and make your relationship better.

Instructions

1. Discuss your feelings. Communication is an important quality for a couple. When things bother you, discuss them with your partner. If you feel like you cannot trust your partner, tell her why. Explain the things that have happened and the reasons for your distrust. This can help her realize what she should avoid doing. Communicate with each other often about these issues --- and any other issues that bother you.

2. Make rules. It is not uncommon for a couple to develop guidelines for their relationship. The rules you develop are yours: Every couple must develop a unique set that fits their relationship. These are things such as avoiding being alone with someone of the opposite sex or agreeing to tell each other if someone from the opposite sex calls or emails them. Couples who want to make their relationship stronger will agree to setting and following mutually agreed-upon rules to improve trust.

3. Avoid doing things that are inappropriate. This step is important for both partners in a relationship. If you think something is wrong or inappropriate, do not do it. Avoid getting into situations where inappropriate things could happen. This will help make avoiding these things easier. If your partner does not trust you, you must rebuild his trust in you. When you avoid the temptations, you will most likely avoid hurting him.

4. Talk about your needs. A person who cannot express her needs well to her partner may develop distrust with her partner. The person may feel like her partner will reject her or is ashamed to tell her what his needs are. In a relationship, both people must work on clearly expressing their own needs.

5. Discuss all issues. Never let an issue that bothers you go without discussing it with your partner. Unresolved issues can cause resentment, which often leads to distrust.

6. Fight fair. For a person who does not trust her partner, the art of fighting matters. During a fight, if her partner becomes defensive or says things that are untrue or irrelevant, she may begin to trust him even less. Fair fighting promotes trust within a relationship. Learn the things to avoid during a fight, and learn how to walk away from a fight if it gets out of hand.

References

• Aish; How to Build Trust in Marriage; Rabbi Dov Heller
• Divorce 360; Dr. Romance: Tips to Overcome Marriage Mistrust; Tina Tessina