How to Help a Best Friend That Was Rejected

A simple touch can communicate your support to a friend.

Rejection often feels personal, no matter what form it takes. Supporting someone through a painful situation can be a challenging moment in a friendship. If you have a friend who has recently gone through a breakup, lost a job or failed to get into a school or program, you can help by giving your friend the benefit of your patient listening, offering to do small favors and providing your friend with healthy distractions when she wants them.

Instructions

1. Offer to listen to your friend's sorrows. Whether your friend needs someone to imagine along with her what the program she applied to would have been like or simply wants to vent about how her boyfriend treated her, try to show empathy and support. Encourage her to talk about what it is on her mind, and try to help her make sense of the loss. If the situation is a breakup, avoid bashing the ex or buying into your friend's negativity. When your friend is ready, help her consider her alternatives.

2. Offer to help your friend with small favors. Rejection can be so painful that even small things can seem hard. Some of the ways you might be able to help include making dinner, taking your friend out to lunch, watching her kids for the day or, if you are co-workers, covering for a shift at work. By letting her know you are there for her, your simple presence will convey encouragement during her time of need.

3. Give your friend opportunities for healthy distractions. At some point, your friend will get tired of talking about the rejection and will want to think about something else. Try to help your friend cope in whatever way is most natural for her, whether that is something soothing and low-stress or a more aggressive way of putting things in perspective and releasing energy.

References

• Rutgers University Human Resources: Supporting Someone Who Lost a Job
• Romance for Everyone: Helping a Friend Through a Break Up