How to Let a Colleague Know They Are Being Rude

Put a stop to rude behavior.

There's one in every office -- from the gossip who makes comments behind everyone's back to the copier-hog to the coworker who offers unsolicited advice on your appearance, job performance or love life. Sooner or later, you're bound to have to deal with a rude colleague. You don't need to deal with this behavior in silence, however. There are ways to point out rude actions and comments without provoking an argument. Be assertive but polite, and avoid blaming the other person for bad behavior.

Instructions

1. Get a second opinion. Describe the situation to a spouse, parent or friend (who works elsewhere, of course). Ask this person for her honest evaluation of the situation, as she may point out ways that you might unwittingly be contributing to the tense situation. For example, perhaps that annoying colleague is taking all the credit in meetings because you just aren't speaking up as much as you should.

2. Initiate a one-on-one conversation with the offending colleague. If he loudly announces the fact that you're three minutes late in front of the whole office, ignore him for the time being. Avoid losing your temper or coming back with a sarcastic retort. Instead, approach him when the two of you can have relative privacy.

3. Use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. You might tell your colleague, "I feel uncomfortable when the whole office notices I'm late" rather than "you really got on my nerves this morning!" Talk about things the two of you can do to minimize friction.

4. Be nice. You may find this very difficult when your colleague makes yet another crack about your outfit, but being nice will ultimately contribute to your reputation for professionalism. Greet the offensive coworker politely and ask how her weekend was. Ignore the annoying behavior -- she may stop if her snipes are met with kindness.

Tips & Warnings

• If you've tried politely speaking to your colleague about rude behavior to no avail, approach a manager or supervisor and ask for intervention.

References

• CNN; How to Stand Up to a Rude Coworker; Alina Dizik; June 2011
• Single Minded Women; Dealing With a Difficult Coworker; Samantha Chang