How to Leave Your Boyfriend Who Is Suicidal
A suicidal boyfriend is likely putting a great deal of pressure on you to be his savior and fix his personal problems. What is worse, he may threaten suicide whenever you hint at splitting up. Any man that tries to control you with the threat of taking his own life needs more help than you can possibly offer. The best thing to do, for both you and your boyfriend, is to end the toxic relationship. Plenty of local therapists and support groups can help, so let the professionals take on your boyfriend's case, and start enjoying your own life again.
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Instructions
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Sit down and make two lists. In the first list, write out all the positive characteristics that drew you to your boyfriend. Highlight his strengths, his talents and his attractive personality traits. In the second list, write down all of the ways your boyfriend's suicidal tendencies or threats have personally affected your personal emotional well-being. Be specific, and be brutally honest.
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Meet with your boyfriend alone, or with an impartial third-party if you feel that you need a witness or a "buffer" for the confrontation. Tell your boyfriend that you care about him, and back this statement up by sharing with him your list of all the things you appreciate about him. Next, tell your boyfriend that his suicidal tendencies are putting a strain on your personal well-being. Go over your list of the the specific ways his behavior has drained or hurt you.
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Tell your boyfriend that you cannot be in an intimate relationship with him until he has gotten the help he needs to be a healthy emotional partner. Give him a list phone numbers to local organizations that are specifically designed to give him the sort of help he needs. Psychologist and family counselor Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker suggests that you "hand him those phone numbers and tell him that you certainly hope he will take care of himself but you can't love him more than he loves himself."
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Reinforce your feelings for your boyfriend as a person by telling him that he has meant a great deal in your life. Refrain from getting sucked into an arguing match or a guilt trip. Simply refuse to say any more than you have already said, and leave him as quickly as possible with the information you have provided.
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Confide what has just transpired between you and your boyfriend to trusted family members, friends or a therapy group so you can receive the emotional support you need to stay away from feelings of undue responsibility for your boyfriend's choices. Make dates with your social circle to ensure that you are not tempted to isolate yourself while you grieve the loss of your relationship.
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Tips & Warnings
Schedule a free consultation for yourself with your school counseling department, or through a local crisis agency. Do the internal work necessary to make sure that your own emotional wounds are not drawing you to unhealthy relationships so that you can look forward to a healthy romantic future.
Stick to your guns if your boyfriend starts calling or texting. Be firm and make it clear that you do not wish to communicate with him. Block him on Facebook and refuse to answer his calls if that is what it takes for you to make a clean break. Otherwise, you are likely to get back together with him.
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