How to Get Over Being Jealous of a Friend

Jealousy can be a difficult emotion to overcome.

The green monster of envy is always difficult to cope with, but even more so when the target of your jealousy is a friend. Overcoming jealousy is essential to your emotional and relational health. If you fail to deal with your jealousy in a healthy manner, it could adversely impact your relationship with your friend. Jealousy is a difficult emotion, but with some self-reflection and perspective, it is possible to conquer it.

Instructions

1. Recognize and embrace the jealousy. Since it is taboo to be jealous of a friend, you may be tempted to repress or deny the feeling. However, hiding the issue does not make it go away. It just makes it more difficult for you to deal with. Remember that jealousy is a normal feeling and does not make you a bad friend.

2. Cultivate gratitude. When you are jealous, it can be easy to fall into the trap of self pity. It is important to remind yourself of the positive things in your life.

3. Remember that your friend does not have a perfect life. Jealousy can trick you into idealizing your friend's life, reinforcing your envy. Although you may think that you would like to trade places with your friend, it is important to recognize that doing so would not free you from difficulty or pain.

4. Understand that you are not jealous of your friend, but rather of something that she possesses. It is important to identify the source of your jealousy. Perhaps it is her popularity, success at work or her seemingly perfect family that you envy. In same cases, you may be jealous of more than one aspect of her life.

5. Decide whether or not you would really want what you friend has. For example, you may be jealous of his children. However, as you think about it, you may come to realize that you aren't really ready to have kids. If this is the case, it should be fairly easy to dismiss your jealousy as unfounded.

6. Take steps to obtain what you truly want out of life. If your jealousy is based on an unfulfilled desire, you can effectively eliminate it by reaching your personal goals.

References

• Think Simple Now: 9 Ways to Overcome Jealousy
• "Good Housekeeping"; Getting Over Jealousy; Keith Ablow