How to Forgive a Wrongdoing
Forgiveness is a highly regarded act in almost ever culture. Forgiving someone shows that you have the mental and emotional capacity to be "the bigger person" and excuse a mistake or misstep that a person committed against you. While it is rarely ever easy to do, forgiving a wrongdoing can be beneficial to both you and the other person and can help you to salvage your relationship with her.
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Instructions
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Think about the person whom you're trying to forgive. Ruminate on your relationship with that person, how she fits into your life and how you felt about her before she committed the wrongdoing. Reflect on whether she is an important person that you'd like to keep in your life or someone you're willing to let go. Think about what life would be like without that person in it and if it's a life you'd be comfortable living.
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Reflect on the wrongdoing that the person committed. Consider the direct results and consequences of the wrongdoing and why it hurt you so much. Think about how severe the wrongdoing was on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the most severe, unforgivable offense. Determine if the wrongdoing is worth holding a grudge over or if it's less serious than you previously thought.
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Ask yourself if you think the person is sorry for committing the wrongdoing. While a person doesn't have to be sorry for what she did in order for you to forgive her, an apology can aid the forgiveness process. If the person apologized to you for what she did, ask yourself if you think she is being sincere. Think about if your friend would forgive you if the situation was reversed.
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Think about how forgiving the person will benefit you. Forgiving someone is generally a freeing experience. Forgiveness can allow you to let go of the grudge or burden you have carried around and move on with your life. Forgiveness also allows you to stop being a victim of the wrongdoing and to take control over the situation. Remember that you can forgive the person without forgiving what she did.
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Give forgiveness time. If you're not ready to forgive someone right now, revisit the issue in a few days or weeks and think about the situation again. It's been said that time heals all wounds, so as time passes the wrongdoing may seem less and less important to you. Be aware, however, that has time goes on and you become more estranged from the person it may be more difficult to approach her and talk to her.
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References
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