How to Deal With Bad Mannered Teens
As teens begin to mature, find their own identity and adjust to a variety of changes -- starting with those in their own bodies -- they sometimes lash out in the form of rude responses and bad manners. While adolescents don't necessarily need lessons from Emily Post, basic refresher lessons on polite behavior can encourage good choices regarding manners. You can deal with bad-mannered teens by employing a blend of compassion and discipline.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Relate good manners to feelings and considerations of others. This helps teach teens that their actions -- such as using bad manners -- can easily hurt another person's feelings. When teens see how simple actions such as saying "please" and "thank you" and holding the door for others affects other people, they will be more invested in displaying appropriate behaviors.
-
2
Teach teens common courtesies to boost their self-confidence. Basic actions like displaying polite behavior even to those they don't like, using good manners during meals, and employing proper conversation techniques during cell phone and other media use will help teens go a long way toward making a good impression and reaching their goals.
-
-
3
Involve your child in solutions to work on his bad manners. If he accepts some responsibility for his behavior, he is more likely to cooperate and improve his behavior. For example, if he fails to complete his homework because he is chatting on social media, you can ground him from social media. When he acknowledges that he needed to finish his homework, he will be more likely to change his behavior in the future.
-
4
Correct the poor behavior politely, especially if the bad-mannered teen is not your own child. You can effectively and firmly communicate your point without being rude or lowering yourself to the teen's level. Say, "I speak to you respectfully without yelling. I expect the same courtesy from you." Do not swear, yell or say things like, "Don't ever talk to me that way if you know what's good for you!"
-
5
Talk to the teen's parents if you have a close enough relationship with them. Again, express your concern for the overall impression the teen makes on others, especially those she does not know well.
-
6
Keep calm and remain matter of fact. Set clear consequences and follow through with these. Connect the consequences to the behavior. For example, if your child refuses to stop texting on her cell phone during a movie, take the phone away. You can temporarily suspend service for as little as one or two days. When teens learn that real life consequences follow poor behavior, they will most likely think twice before pushing the limits of rude behavior.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Display good manners yourself so your teen will model these as well. Teach your teen coping skills to address frustrations.
References
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
