How to Know If You're Being Stalked

Know the signs of stalker behavior.

If you notice that someone, be it a person you know or a stranger, is following and fixating on you in an abnormal manner, it is normal to feel frightened and threatened. This type of attention is known as stalking, and can often lead to harmful outcomes. When you feel threatened, it helps to know the warning signals of a stalker so that you can take the appropriate measures to ensure your personal safety and well-being.

Instructions

1. Ask yourself if you receive excessive contact from this person. A stalker will often obsessively seek any type of contact with a victim, from calling her on the phone (and often hanging up once he hears her voice) and emailing her to sending letters and text messages. If someone is constantly trying to contact you against your wishes, then he is behaving as a stalker. This is especially relevant if you have told the person not to reach out to you again.

2. Think about how often you 'accidentally' run into the person. If you notice that you are constantly encountering the same person in your daily routine, then perhaps it isn't a coincidence. If you walked past someone at the grocery store only to see her walking in front of your home an hour later (especially if this type of 'accidental encounter' happens repeatedly), then it may be a sign that she is stalking you and trying to be around you in any way that she can.

3. Consider whether the person is trying to control you. Some stalkers use control as a means to receive attention back from a victim. For example, if a person states that he is going to kill himself unless you meet up with him for a date, he is displaying extremely dangerous and unlawful stalker behavior. In these type of situations, do not hesitate to contact the police and seek outside help as soon as possible.

4. Understand the potential danger of threats. If a person in any way threatens to bring danger upon you, any of your friends, relatives or acquaintances, then she is acting as a stalker. Notify the police immediately if you receive any type of threat from a stalker, whether she makes it in person, sends it in an email or says it over the phone.

5. Notice any strange gifts you may get. Presents are a common tactic that stalkers employ to obtain attention from their victims. Look for any gifts, from standard boxes of chocolate to items that may not be as common (such as items of clothing or toys).

6. Keep your eyes open for any unusual behaviors. Other common signs of a stalker include stolen mail, vandalism on or around your home (such as graffiti), and baseless lawsuits. Stalkers often file lawsuits against their victims to maintain some type of regular contact.

Tips & Warnings

• If you intuitively feel like someone may be watching or keeping an eye on you, you may be the victim of a stalker. Trust your instincts.

• If you determine that someone is stalking you, do not wait even a second to let the police know - it can save your life. Police notification is especially important if the stalker makes threats of violence (either to you or people you know) or engages in any type of violent act. Contact the Stalking Resource Center at 800-394-2255.

References

• Aware: Stalking
• SAFE; Are You Being Stalked?; Kim S.; 2004
• Stalking Behavior: Are You Being Stalked?
• Lilac Lane: Being Stalked - What to Do
• WomensHealth.gov: Violence Against Women - Stalking