How to Live With Grown Children

Make living with your adult child a healthy and happy experience.

When an adult child resides with his parents, it's often for economic reasons. Usually the child is either pursuing an education or saving money until he can move out on his own. If the situation seems less than ideal to you (perhaps you want more privacy), it doesn't necessarily have to be unpleasant or uncomfortable. Learn how to survive and even thrive amidst the circumstances.

Instructions

1. Communicate and share your expectations. When you enter a living situation with an adult child, it's vital to be on the same page. Find out how long your child plans to live with you and what he plans on doing to improve his situation, whether it's attending school or working a part-time job. Let your child know how long you're willing to allow him to live with you and if you want him to pay rent or share in paying the utility bills. Establish ground rules for your home, from helping out with the dishes to doing laundry.

2. Step aside as a parent. Although it may be hard not to act as a parent, you need to remember that your child is now an adult with a mind and life of her own. If you treat her as a child, it may lead to friction and tension, which is the last thing you want for a happy household. As long as your child obeys your basic ground rules, let her be. Refrain from criticizing her choice in significant others, friends and occupation.

3. Emotionally support your child. Living at home as an adult often indicates a time of transition and change. Nurture your child by providing him with a loving and accepting home environment. Whether you encourage his career or his educational path, make it known to him that you wish him the best.

4. Keep your word. Treat your child with full respect as an equal member of your household. If you make an agreement with your child, don't go back on it. If you tell your child that he can remain at home for six months until he gets back on his feet, don't change your mind abruptly without a valid reason.

5. Look after your own well-being. As a parent, you may become preoccupied with making sure that everything is perfect for your child at home. This may cause you to neglect your own well-being. The healthier, stronger and more mentally sound you are as a person, the easier it will be for you to nourish a positive living atmosphere for your child. Eat right, get enough sleep and make time for regular exercise in your schedule.

Tips & Warnings

• Occasional disagreements are a part of life. If you experience tension, admit it if you think it may be your fault. Show maturity in your relationship with your child. When you're willing to admit you're wrong, coming to a resolution is easier.

References

• Empowering Parents; Adult Children Living at Home; Debbie Pincus
• Children, Youth and Women's Health Service: Living With Adult Children
• New York Life; Adult Children Moving Back Home; December 2010
• Family Education: When Your Adult Child Lives at Home