How to Let Go of an Unrequited Love
Even the most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes have experienced the pain of a romantic attraction that came to nothing. And whether it seemed like the perfect situation that was always meant to be, or a fantasy that you lovingly imagined happening, letting go is its own kind of grief. If this is your situation, you can move on by getting rid of reminders of your beloved, changing your routine in ways that distance yourself, de-personalizing the loss, and focusing on new opportunities.
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Instructions
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Decide how much of this person you can bear to still have in your life, and assess your options for change. If you have no choice (for example, if he is a co-worker and you can't change jobs) then find a way to minimize your interactions. If she is a friend, you may need to be honest about your reasons for ending the friendship. You are best served by having as little to do with this person as possible.
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Part ways with those objects that remind you of your crush. Get rid of any photographs, cards, emails or other gifts that trigger feelings. Give them a proper farewell with a ritual goodbye, if this helps you to cope.
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Change your routine in ways that distance yourself from your emotions. Whether it's the places you used to meet, music that reminds you of him or a shared circle of friends, these habits will continue to bring you back to your feelings until you change them. While in the short term this may seem painful and difficult, in time you will accept that it was worth it.
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Depersonalize the loss. It is very natural to feel that every rejection is personal. Remind yourself that it wasn't you, but rather the lack of a romantic connection. Bad timing, lack of availability and emotional hangups may all be complicating factors. Avoid the temptation to over-generalize and draw too much from one situation.
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Focus on new opportunities. Set your sights on a new hobby, interest or personal ambition. Use your blues as energy for creativity or reinvention. Accept that life will never be the same, but it can be better than it was before.
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References
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