How to Jump on a Team's Bandwagon

Tired of your own losing sports teams? Anxious to bask in the glory Steelers, Heat and White Sox fans recently relished? Just follow these steps and you, too, can be a winner-well, at least by association!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Do your research and plan ahead. See what SI, The Sporting News and other insiders have to say about an upcoming season.

2. Pick a team with cool gear. If they fail at their bid for the title, at least you'll look good!

3. Jump on as early as possible before the bandwagon is completely full! You can always leap off later if the going gets rough.

4. Cover your bases by being ready to leap on multiple bandwagons depending on how things turn during the year. Sure, it will cost more to purchase three or four team hats and accompanying jerseys but at least you'll be prepared.

5. Set aside the inevitable accompanying feelings of guilt over abandoning your true favorite squad. They'll still be waiting for you after your fling with a more attractive team. Think of it as a separation, not a divorce!

6. Do whatever it takes to make your new fan gear look worn-beat it with rocks, put it through the wash 10 times, singe it with a blowtorch if you must. The biggest giveaway of a bandwagon jumper is wearing, for example, a shiny new Cowboys cap and Bledsoe jersey just as Dallas is heading to the Super Bowl.

Tips & Warnings

• Be ready-and suitably indignant-when friends, coworkers and even complete strangers question your newfound allegiance. You're sure to hear snide comments, like "since when are you a Cowboys fan?" This is the perfect time to feign as if you've been mortally wounded emotionally, as you respond with your ready-made rejoinder. Anything will work, as long as it's said with enough mock sincerity and outrage, even: "My uncle had a stopover in Dallas once-it's practically my second home!"
• Remember, bandwagon jumping is an American tradition, whether it's sports, politics or pop music. Don't let the sappy sentimentality of rooting your old team into last place get in your way of enjoying pro sports to the fullest!

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