Invitation
Step1
Make up a tweaked-out club membership policy. Send it out via e-mail or print it out and snail mail it. Sample text: "You are invited to participate in the [insert your name] Inaugural Beer-and-Scotch-Tasting Invitational, to be held at [insert location] on [insert date] at [insert time]."
Step2
Note that the invitation comes with a complimentary membership in The Golf Punks Association. Adherence to its rules is required for admittance.
Step3
Include a Dress Code: No visible animal logos, cardigans, cuffed shorts or periwinkle-hued anything.
Step4
Include a Code of Conduct: No equipment narcissists or ball-busting allowed. (Okay, mild ball-busting is permitted within the boundaries of bad taste.)
Step5
Explain the Privileges: Members are allowed to bring guests to club functions as long as those guests are not total stiffs.
Step6
Add a Final Notice: Membership has its privileges. Let the club manager know by [insert RSVP date] how many will be in your group [insert RSVP contact information].
The Party
Step1
Hang a sign that says “Free your mind and your swing will follow” wherever guests will arrive.
Step2
Use galvanized steel trash cans with planks on top of them as a counter space. Fill them 2/3 of the way up with empty boxes and other clean fill materials. Then place a sturdy plastic bag over the stuffing and fill it with ice and bottles of beer, soda and water. You can also lay a piece of hideous plaid fabric over a table to make a bar if you aren’t crazy about the trash can idea.
Step3
Place a bucket for cap-flipping. You’ll be amazed at the wide variety of techniques cap-snapping guys have perfected, and they love showing golf babes their form.
Step4
Set up a small putting course and feature a hole-in-one contest.
Step5
Let people customize their golf balls by having a craft station set up with glue, glitter, sharpies and stickers.
Step6
Introduce the group to a variety of off-the-wall traditional brews. Ale-styles include Scottish-style heavy, German-style Hefeweizen and Belgian-style fruit lambic. A scotch tasting is easy to set up. Grab a variety (three will do) of single malts from different regions of Scotland, like Speyside, Islay, Highlands, and Lowlands. A scotch specialist at your local liquor store can help you out. Then pour an ounce in a glass, sniff it, add a splash of room temperature water, sniff it again and taste it. You’re looking for specific attributes and characteristics of the scotch. Check out the link below for details.
