How to Get Creative Giving Oral Sex to a Woman

“Cunnilingus is among the most intimate sexual experiences two people can enjoy together,” says sex therapist Louanne Weston, Ph.D. “For some women, it’s the source of their most intense orgasms." Explore some of the following techniques—it may help you become a better lover.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Enthusiasm

1. Start with the basics. Tell a new lover that you’d like to go down on her. Either say something, or kiss her on the way down--her neck, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, her belly, so she gets the idea where you’re headed. You might check in saying, “I’d like to keep going down. It that okay?” Move down slowly. Make sure you're in a comfortable position. Lying on the bed on your stomach between the woman’s legs might strain your neck. You might slip a pillow under the woman’s hips to raise her a bit. Or you might coax her butt to the side of the bed and kneel on the floor to lick her. Don’t dive into cunnilingus all at once. Begin slowly--and very gently. Start by nuzzling, kissing, and licking her inner thighs and the area around her vulva. Anticipation of cunnilingus can feel very arousing to women. As you move toward her genitals, begin by licking the fleshy outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress the smaller, thinner inner lips. Then circle the vaginal opening and perhaps insert your tongue--or a finger or two--lovingly inside her vagina. Approach the ****oris very slowly and gently. Some women enjoy a man’s tongue directly on the ****oris. Others find direct ****oral licking too intense, even uncomfortable. They prefer it when the tongue only lightly caresses the ****oris or circles it, which stimulates it but less directly. As you lick, check in with her: Is this too intense? Do you want it lighter? Or should I bear down more? Check in often until you're confident that you know her preferences. Then check in periodically after that. Preferences change, or she may just be in the mood for something a little different.
2. Alternate using the tip of your tongue, the flat of it, and your lips as you move around her vulva. All three feel a little different and provide subtly different sensations.
3. Combine licking with finger and palm massage. After circling her vulva with your tongue, do the same with a finger or two, using light, moderate, or deep pressure, as the woman prefers. Use your fingers to gently part her vaginal lips. Massage her inner thighs. Finger around her anus as you provide oral caresses, or gently insert a well-lubricated finger. (Nothing that touches the anal area should touch the vagina or vulva. If it does, the woman may develop a urinary tract infection.)
4. Combine oral sex with massage of other parts of her body. Some women enjoy having their breasts caressed while receiving oral. Others enjoy whole body massage. Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you’re licking her. Or combine oral sex with any sex toy(s) the woman enjoys.
5. Keep checking in. Some women who prefer very light licking of the ****oris early in oral sex, need more intensity later on to run up to orgasm.
6. Try what’s variously known as the “little lick trick,” “quicky licky” or “snaky licky.” Instead of steady tongue pressure on the ****oris or swirling moves around it, you use the tip of your tongue to tease just the underside of the ****oral shaft with light little licks about once every 10 to 15 seconds. This move helps some women who feel highly aroused get over the hump and express orgasm.
7. Some women like having their anuses licked (rimming). As long as it’s clean, there’s nothing “dirty” about licking that opening as part of oral sex. To ease hygienic concerns, wash or shower together beforehand. Beyond resolving the anal hygiene issue, bathing together is a sensual appetizer to lovemaking.

Tips & Warnings

• Beyond the various cunnilingus techniques, something else affects many women’s enjoyment of oral sex--her lover’s enthusiasm about providing it. “Few things detract from a woman’s enjoyment of oral sex,” Weston explains, “as much as the suspicion that her man considers it a duty or, worse, a chore.” If you enjoy providing cunnilingus, say so.