Americans have notoriously poor table manners. We slurp our soup, chomp our chocolate cake, spill our salt and belch our blessings. And while all of this slurping, chomping, spilling and belching can be seen as quaintly charming, we are no longer living in little wooden shacks.
Learn about basic table manners you should use at every meal, not esoteric table items (such as fingerbowls). Frankly, you almost never use those things, and even when you do, no one else will know how to use them either.
Let's move right to the meal. But wait! Should a man pull a woman's chair out for her before she sits? Well, it depends. If they are on a date in a nice restaurant, sure. But at a nice restaurant, the person who seats the couple will probably pull the chair out for her, so you have nothing to worry about. This leads to...
General Tip #1: For all questions involving etiquette, just use your brains.
Men don't have to get all Victorian and insist on standing up every time a woman leaves or returns to the table. Just be polite. Now, if you're a guest at someone's house, don't sit until the host sits first (unless the host told you to just go sit down at the table). In fact, when dealing with hosts, remember...
General Tip #2: Never do anything until the host does it first.
This includes sit, eat, put your napkin on the table and leave. After all, the host is paying for the meal, so at least make her feel like she's in charge.
Now it's time to take inventory and figure out which stuff is yours. We've all gone to a dinner and used our neighbor's fork, glass, bread plate or husband. Here's a shortcut so you can know exactly what is yours: your plate is in the center; knives and spoons are on your right; forks and your napkin on the left; liquids (your water) go to your right, and solids (your bread plate) go on your left.
There might be more forks, knives or spoons, depending on what the meal is, but you get the general idea. If you need another shortcut, remember that your drink is always on the right because the first two letters in the word "DRink" stand for "Drink Right." Just know that your bread plate is on the other side, and you're set.
One note if you happen to be the host: Remember that all items (salad, meal, wine and water) should be brought to each diner's right and cleared from each diner's left. That's why the glasses are on the right.
