How Does Lack of Trust Affect a Relationship?

Causes Anxiety

Lack of trust is detrimental to a relationship and frequently culminates in termination of the relationship. The partner lacking trust may experience ongoing anxiety. The anxiety tends to increase when the location of the other partner is unknown. Any actions not completely revealed before they occur, or if unplanned within minutes after occurring, are perceived as deceptive by the anxious or distrustful partner. The distrustful partner may even begin spying on the other partner. Things such as following the car from a distance to verify the partner's destination and reviewing the partner's sent and received cell phone calls are common in relationships that lack trust.

Causes Arguments

The lack of trust tends to cause frequent arguments in the relationship. Arguments occur over intrusions of privacy, suspicious activity, as well as the lack of trust that caused them. Little time is spent actually having fun together because the partners are frequently angry at each other and fighting. Therefore, the partners are unable to enjoy each other's company due to perceived or actual activities that violate the boundaries of the relationship. They may begin to avoid each other. Some partners may begin retaliating by doing whatever behavior the other partner has been accusing them of doing. That results in justifying the suspicious partner's actions and score keeping by both parties of each other's infractions.

Decreases Self-esteem

Usually partners in a relationship build each other up over time, increasing each other's self-esteem by their constant love, attention and acceptance. Unfortunately, the constant attention received in a relationship that lacks trust has the opposite affect. Because the attention received involves suspicion as opposed to acceptance, self-esteem begins to diminish. Words of love may ring hollow in the ears of the partner always being investigated, questioned or followed. Without counseling and outside help, a lack of trust in a relationship usually ends up killing the relationship.

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