How Does a Bride and Groom Figure Out Wedding Seating Arrangements?
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Figure Out Who's Coming
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Before you start planning out your seating arrangement for the wedding, you'll need to have as accurate a guest list as possible. For this reason, don't try to plan seating until well after your RSVP deadline; if the attendance status of some guests is still questionable, call them up and explain that you'll need to know whether or not they'll be there so that you can start making final wedding plans.
However, don't leave the seating chart until the last minute--- you won't want to be wrestling with it the night before the wedding. Aim to start planning out seating at least a week in advance of the big day.
Once you've got a pretty accurate guest list, think hard about whether or not you'll even need to have arranged seating. If your wedding is a casual affair, a buffet-style meal, or a large-scale picnic, you might not even need to seat everyone specifically. If you're having a big sit-down dinner, though, you'll probably need to make a seating chart.
Deal With Ceremony Seating
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Prior to tackling your reception seating, figure out what to do about ceremony seating. Most couples don't have specific seating for guests at the ceremony unless the ceremony is very private and only includes a few close family members and friends.
Decide whether or not you'll want a "bride's side" and "groom's side." Some couples like how this arrangement makes the seating easier for guests; others have many friends in common and don't think they can be classified into "his and hers". Either way, let your ushers (if you have them) know how you'd like them to seat guests.
If you want to save places for close family members (your parents, for example, or grandparents) at the front of the room or in a special area, make sure to place some sort of sign or item on those seats that indicates they are reserved.
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Reception Seating
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Now it's time to take on the biggest task: reception seating. First, figure out where you want to sit. Many couples choose to have a "head table," a long rectangular table where they sit with their wedding party and/or close family members. Others choose to have a "sweetheart table," a small table that only seats the bride and groom. Still others choose to sit at a table just like the guests' tables, usually with their parents, siblings, and the ceremony officiant.
Now, figure out how many tables you'll have by dividing the number of guests by the number of people each table can accommodate. Draw up a seating chart with circles or squares representing each table, then place guests around each table.
Here are a few good rules to follow:
Seat families together where it makes sense. For example, if you have kids in the wedding party, seat them with their parents or guardians. If you have aunts and uncles from one side of the family who would probably like to sit together and talk, try to put them at one table.
Avoid family conflict by placing people who are outspoken or inflexible about their political/religious views at different tables than individuals who might be offended by or challenge those views. For instance, your evangelical cousin probably should not be seated next to your gay brother-in-law if the two have feuded or called each other names in the past.
It's okay to seat single friends with other people to whom you think they'd enjoy talking--- but don't try too hard to play matchmaker and "couple up" the bride's girlfriends with the groom's guy friends. Instead, seat people with others who share their interests or hobbies, and don't worry about trying to get your friends romantically involved with one another.
Plan For Problems
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Think ahead to what might go wrong with your seating chart, and plan accordingly. For example, avoid putting a guest's name and table number on the same place card, so that if a guest brings an unexpected guest (or fails to appear at all), you can move their place card to a new table and rearrange the seating to accommodate the new situation.
Also, number the tables according to where they are in the room, either moving from front to back or from left to right. This way, it'll be easier for your guests to find their tables, and you won't have everyone wandering around and bugging you to direct them to their seats. This also eliminates the possibility that certain relatives or friends might be hurt because they were seated about table 6 and not table 1, since they could assume that table 1 is the most "important" table. Numbering the tables methodically allows to you to show them that the table at which they're sitting doesn't reflect their importance to you.
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