How Does a Woman Give a Man an Orgasm?

Relax

Every man is different. Every woman is different. When you want to give a man an orgasm, expect that every time will be different. Some days it's easy for a woman to give a man an orgasm; other days, it's not so easy. The first step toward giving a man an orgasm is to stop aiming for that orgasm and start aiming to give him--and yourself--pleasure. So relax. Your goal is to make him feel good. You can do that in so many ways.

Ask your lover, boyfriend or husband what he likes and what he wants. If you're not sure at any point that he's enjoying something you're doing, ask. Encourage him to be open with you. On the other hand, don't ask with painful regularity, "Are you still enjoying it? And now? And now? What about now?" Let him relax into the pleasure you're giving him.

Your lover may tell you he likes his nipples touched or the opposite, that he doesn't have much feeling in his nipples. He may like to be stroked all over his body, or he may prefer that you focus on his penis--or on his foot, or maybe even on just his elbow, if that's what he's into. If your lover dislikes something another lover in your past liked, don't take it personally. Each man is different. A woman gives a man an orgasm by touching him according to his preferences. Learn these preferences.

A woman might give a man an orgasm by touching him. You might give him oral sex, using your mouth to pleasure him, or you might use your hands or other body part--use your imagination. And of course, you might give him an orgasm by making love to him, perhaps with you on top. Don't assume you have to stick with one method; you both may enjoy your stroking his penis gently up and down for a while, and then you might take him in your mouth and kiss him while you stroke him with your fingers and your tongue. He may ask for lubrication or prefer it without. He may enjoy it when you squeeze him or prefer you to touch him very lightly--or do both, at different times. He may want to touch you and kiss you while you're pleasuring him. When he's close to an orgasm, he may ask you to touch him harder or faster, or he may ask you to slow down. While you touch him, pay attention to his reactions. Give him more of what he wants, but don't be afraid to tease him, as long as you don't carry teasing too far. And remember: relax.

Even as you're focused on your lover, try to focus on yourself and your own enjoyment. He may get turned on by your enjoyment. Don't fake it, but do slow down and remember that there's no pleasure in feeling the pressure to have an orgasm or in feeling hurried to give someone else an orgasm. If you want him to touch you, pause and bring his hand to you. Remember, you're not performing here. You're doing what feels good to both of you. So let him know if you're getting tired or want to change positions. He'll appreciate your honesty, and you'll both feel more comfortable.

Laugh off any interruptions or sources of awkwardness. Humor is very appropriate during lovemaking and can relax your lover.

After your lover has an orgasm, take a chance to rest, talk, kiss or lie together. And if, for some reason, the orgasm didn't happen, don't worry. There's no reason to be frustrated with yourself or him. As you get to know each other, it will happen.

Avoid pretending, lying, faking it or being cruel while making love to a man. Among other things, if you destroy his trust, you'll lose any chance of giving him an orgasm.

Giving a man an orgasm, however you do it, is having sex. Take all the precautions you normally would when having sex. Don't risk getting sexually transmitted diseases, don't have sex with strangers and don't have sex with anyone you don't trust.