How Does Divorce Affect Children?

Children can easily become the victims in a divorce.

Emotional Stress and Resentment

Marriages that end in divorce can affect the entire family, including the family pet. The ones who are hurt the most are the children, regardless of age. A young child who had been toilet-trained might start wetting again. Those who had good eating habits might start throwing their food on the floor or refuse to eat. The oldest child might now find herself having to assume some of the responsibilities of the missing parent. This can, in time, cause a deep resentment for her siblings, blaming them for no longer being able to chat with friends on the phone or on the computer.

Visitations

Children of divorced parents lose their rights to choose where and with whom they spend their holidays. Summer vacations, usually enjoyed with friends, are now spent on an airplane flight for parental visitation that was set up by their parents. The youngest child becomes confused and cries at bedtime when the other parent is no longer around to tuck him into bed. A middle child feels rejected when his parent fails to appear at his ball game, or fails to show up on a visitation day. Each child becomes confused, angry, bitter and often turns her distress toward the wrong parent--blaming that one for the breakup. Children can easily become the victims in a divorce, losing their right of choice. Instead they must obey decisions made for them by their parents, lawyers and the courts.

School

School grades can suffer in a divorced household. The inability to concentrate can be caused by the lack of a parent being around to help with homework. The child might be worried because household bills are piling up and some not being paid. The parent at home might have to work two jobs, spending less time with the child. They find themselves daydreaming, rather than studying, trying to figure out what caused the divorce--often putting the blame on themselves. A child who once was an A student might start failing, isolating himself from friends and becoming despondent.

Resources

• KidsHealth: Helping Your Child Through Divorce
• Children and Divorce: Divorce Through the Eyes of the Child