How Does a Trial Separation Work?

You just got in a huge fight with your spouse and you feel you've had it with him. You want out of the relationship and are considering divorce. But there is another option. Instead of immediately jumping into the murky waters of divorce, you and your spouse might consider a trial separation.

A trial separation is a set amount of time where you and your spouse will spend time away from each other, stepping back to analyze your current marriage. If there are children, the mother and children usually remain at home and the father will move out on his own, most often into his own apartment.

The purpose for a trial separation is to help you and your spouse, as individuals in the relationship, step back from the relationship and analyze what you or your spouse could be doing differently to help improve the marriage. Often both the husband and wife will see individual therapists who will give guidance and help each of the individuals to see how he or she can help the marriage to succeed.

Trial separation is different from a legal separation. With a trial separation, the husband and wife set the rules and guidelines and there are no formal documents drawn up. With a legal separation, attorneys are involved, legal papers are filed in court, property is divided, and preparations begin for divorce. With a trial separation, the couple can reunite any time they choose.

There are still considerations to be made in a trial separation just as in a legal separation. Some of the considerations include but are not limited to finances and custody of children. You and your spouse will need to determine if you want to continue to work out of a joint checking account or work out of separate accounts. You will need to figure out the feasibility of living apart and come up with a budget that both of you must follow, especially if you are a single-income family. You and your spouse must decide who will have custody of the children the majority of the time. Visiting schedules must be drawn up and followed.

Trial separation may work for some but not others. Often a decision to divorce is made in haste and anger toward the spouse is the primary driving factor. If you are uncertain whether you really want to divorce your spouse and don't want to get the legal system involved, a trial separation may be the answer. Be sure to get a marriage and family therapist involved to help you see how you can contribute to and save your marriage.