How Does Someone Forgive and Forget?

A Choice Is Made

The truth is that people rarely forget about a past incident that caused emotional or physical pain. However, when a person chooses to forgive, he also choose not to hold the past incident against the offender any longer. Therefore, it is as if he has forgotten about the incidence because he has put it behind him and moved on with his life. If the offense was minor, time may erase it from the memory of the one hurt. If the offense was a major one, refusing to hold it against the offender means refusing to let the offense dictate who you are today. However, you do not have to befriend the person to forgive and put the incident behind you.

Holding a Grudge and Refusing to Forgive

Holding a grudge, maintaining your anger, and failing to forgive the person who hurt you can actually cause long-term harm to you emotionally and physically. Not forgiving and maintaining your anger can actually cause depression, high blood pressure, severe headaches, including migraines, and anger can increase your heart rate according to Mayo Clinic. Of course, many of these ailments can contribute to a person's chance of having a stroke, becoming obese, and catching whatever bug is currently going around town or work.

Sabotaging Relationships

Staying angry with someone can adversely affect your current or future relationships. You may be allowing the person who hurt you to sabotage every relationship you have if you do not forgive and forget the incident. Harboring anger and negative feelings can prevent you from trusting or truly loving new or current friends and significant others. You will base your reactions to words and actions on past hurts, causing confusion in your new friends. Eventually, they may tire of constant suspicion and end the relationship with you.

Releasing a Grudge and Forgiving

You can be happy and lead a normal life not driven by revenge, anger, or hate when you choose to forgive and forget. Choosing to forgive and not think about the offense on a daily basis frees you to pursue your other interests. You will actually have more energy once you choose to forgive the offense. Remember, you do not actually trick yourself into forgetting, you just choose not to think about it all the time. Refuse to let the person who hurt you continue to control your life through your own mind.

Resources

• Holding Grudge for Someone Shows Emotional Imbalance
• Mayo Clinic Complications of Holding Grief
• Spiritual Healing--How to Increase Healing Energy Now