How Does Depression Affect a Marriage?
Other People Are Reading
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Spouse
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Untreated depression can create a never ending cycle of problems. One person's issues affect all members of the family in many ways. The spouse may be the hardest hit. Depression is an isolating illness. The depressed wife may withdraw almost completely from interaction with her husband. She may avoid both conversation and physical intimacy. The husband may feel like it is his fault. He may feel that he is responsible for her mental state. These feelings of disconnection, guilt and helplessness may cause the husband to sink into depression as well.
Children
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Depression can take the form of sadness, anger or anxiety. Even if Dad does not deliberately take his depression out on his family, they will sense and be affected by his negative moods. The home should be a safe haven, particularly for children, but when it contains a depressed person, home is not the place to rest a weary spirit. Mom and the kids may begin to absorb Dad's negative mood the moment they enter the house. Everyone may feel like they have to walk on eggshells around him. A depressed Dad is unavailable to his children. They will eventually learn that Dad is not to be relied upon. Mom will have to work overtime to keep the children's lives as normal as possible. The non-depressed spouse often must become both mother and father. The resultant role strain can sometimes bring a person to her breaking point.
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Daily Life
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Depression can cause a marriage to stagnate and eventually fail. As the depression consumes every aspect of family life, a marriage stops growing and it can't move forward. The depressed spouse commands all the attention. The problems of other family members as well as plans for the future are put on the back burner. As everyone becomes worn out from trying to make Mom happy, all the enjoyment of daily life goes out the window. The little triumphs that are the stuff of life--an A on a science test, kudos from the boss, a local concert by a favorite band, flowers in bloom--are ignored. As Mom withdraws from social activities, the family misses out on shared experiences and social support. Depression can also create issues in the workplace to the point of causing the family additional stressors in the form of financial difficulty.
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