shannonrcook on How to Make a Paper Airplane

We were young back then, my roommate and I (and still are, dammit), brash and probably a little drunk, and with such a lofty claim in its title we simply could not pass up the opportunity to participate in such an historic opportunity.   What had I accomplished with my life so far?   To be honest at that moment I couldn’t remember, but I felt that everything up to that point could easily be eclipsed by building the perfect paper airplane.   Also, I was in love with my roommate and we had already stayed up all night together and I didn’t want it to end.   At first it was just to watch a couple of movies, but after a while the movies stopped and we stayed up together, just talking.   I had class early that that same morning and the possibility of a good rest had long since dwindled.   My roommate, Tracy, was a beautiful woman and I was a selfish young man so if staying up late meant I got to see more of her, then I would do it; classes be damned.

Our goals were simple.   We would each construct, as best we could, the absolute most perfect paper airplane imaginable.   We would follow the article’s instructions fully and completely, we would cut no corners (unless that was an instruction), and we would practice no sabotage.    So with these goals in mind, we were able to begin.

Now the problem with paper airplanes, as in life, is that it is the details that will kill you.   Simply eye-balling the construction of your next airplane is going to leave you with a crappy flopper or a stinky flail-er, at best maybe a stunted flinger.   Eye-balling a paper airplane fold is about as dumb as a contractor eyeballing the build of a roof.   Like the one over your head right now.  Except in this analogy, the plane isn’t going to kill anyone when it fails (seriously, did you get that place inspected?).   No, the only way to build the perfect airplane, or the perfect load-bearing roof, is to have a set of tools.   I like a ruler and a pair of scissors.   Some people like an exact-o-knife and a flat edged stick.   I say that last one is basically a ruler, but whatever.      The beauty of building a perfect paper airplane is that you’ve probably got all three pieces lying around the house right now.   A piece of paper, scissors (or knife) and a ruler (or a ruler without measurements on it…cause that’s useful) is all we needed for our perfect airplanes.   Actually that’s not entirely true.   We needed way more than a single piece of paper.   Probably 20.  Each.   We were SERIOUSLY going to build the most perfect paper airplane ever…and it took a few times before I learned that lesson about eye-balling your build.

But eventually we did complete our planes and we went outside to watch the sun rise and throw them around the front yard, placing small bets on whose plane would fly the longest, the straightest, and the best. Just before liftoff, however, I took a moment to soak in my feelings about being with my roommate that night, and how much fun we were having together.   It turned out that our quest to build the perfect airplane that night had accomplished something altogether different and exciting.   In our childish ways and fancy-free adventures we had stumbled our way into our very first date, a date that I would always cherish as being absolutely perfect.

But this is where my story ends, because unfortunately I don’t remember how well the planes flew that night.    I was too busy spending time with my lady, who I later tricked into marrying me.   Ha ha ha.