Countdown to the Wedding
How to handle the final countdown to the big day
Pretend the wedding is happening on a Tuesday and you have to get everything done by then...You want a couple of days before the wedding to relax and enjoy yourself as opposed to running around and being frantic.
— Nancy Mattia, articles director for "Brides" magazine
It's a day many of us have dreamed about since we saw "Cinderella" become the belle of the ball or Julia Roberts capture the heart of a limo-riding Richard Gere in "Pretty Woman."
But long after the cake flavor has been picked and the down payment cashed by the reception site, it's time to get down to the real nitty-gritty. When it's less than a month to the wedding, it's time to make sure everyone and everything is in place and ready to go. This could be amazingly stressful time. However,with good planning and forward thinking, it can be a breeze.
Forget Them Not
While most of your thought processes concern the actual wedding, some little tasks that can fly under the radar need to be addressed a month or so ahead of the wedding day. Nancy Mattia, articles director for "Brides" magazine, said one of the most overlooked orders of business is the marriage license itself.
Typically, couples can obtain a license up to 30 days before the wedding. Couples can apply for and receive a license within minutes in Arizona, where Kim Horn, master bridal consultant and president of Arizona Bridal Source, lives. But some states require a blood test or physical exams, which take additional time.
"You need to research the state in which you are getting married," Horn said. "Some require a waiting period, some require some type of testing to be done before you can even apply."
Horn also recommends couples don't wait to get their rings insured, especially if they plan on going on a honeymoon or big trip.
If the bride is changing her name, all of the necessary paperwork and documents that go to the bank, insurance firms and credit card companies will have to be sent right after the wedding. The actual filling out of those forms should be done ahead of time. Horn said a trusted friend or family member can be given this task if the bride is too swamped to tackle it herself.
The bride can also take care of a few other things before the two-week countdown begins. She can determine the tip amount for drivers, coat-check personnel and anyone else who will be helping out, and label the envelopes so they are ready to be handed out that night. The seating cards can also be completed as soon as the guest list is finalized.
Because many guests purchase registry gifts the week before the wedding, Mattia suggested looking over your registries before then to make sure there are gift options in varying price ranges remaining for last-minute shoppers.
Social Butterflies
In the few days before the wedding, it also helps to turn some practical tasks into social events. Mattia suggests making the typical chore of assembling programs or party favors into a small group effort.
"Have some champagne, turn it into a little party with friends," she said.
You'll also have to be economical with your time and let others know you're on a schedule. You know you'll need to have some private moments with a friend or relative who endured a long ride to get there, but they should know you're too busy for long visits.
"Tell them, 'I can't go to dinner but I'll come over after dinner and stay for two hours,' " Mattia said. "Invite them to the rehearsal dinner. It's a chance for everyone to have a good time, and you can see them in a small group."
Prepare ahead of time for the needs of out-of-towners. Be ready to offer suggestions about where they can go to dinner, check out a ballgame or art exhibition, or enjoy a family outing if they brought their children.
If visitors are planning to stay at a hotel where rooms are reserved specifically for wedding guests, Horn said you should double-check a day or so ahead of time to make sure the rooms are ready. If you plan on dropping off welcoming baskets, ask the hotel in advance if it charges an additional fee to place them in the rooms.
Assign a friend or relative to alert key personnel about rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch details, Horn said.
Eat, Breathe, Love
Now that every guest has been confirmed, the caterer knows how many mouths to feed and the vendors know exactly what time to start unloading vases and chairs, you can be rewarded with some downtime.
"Pretend the wedding is happening on a Tuesday and you have to get everything done by then," Mattia said. "That way, you have a couple of days before the wedding to see people and have time to see out-of-town guests who want to see you. You want a couple of days before the wedding to relax and enjoy yourself as opposed to running around and being frantic."
Most brides find it tough to fend off nerves or stop obsessing over potentially forgotten details. But, Mattia said, sticking to a routine can help take the edge off.
"Go to the normal yoga class," she said. "Do what you usually do. Don't eat or drink too much -- or the opposite."
Mattia suggests planning a simple outing such as breakfast with your mother or girlfriends. It will provide a break from the tension or anxiety anyone closely associated with the wedding is bound to be feeling.
On the big day itself, she insists you avoid the mistake brides commonly make -- not eating at all.
"Eat something. Maybe not the bacon cheeseburger, but something," Mattia said. "It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people forget to do that. They get in this bridal craze when they just need to use common sense."
- Photo Credit Thomas Northcut/Photodisc/Getty Images
