How to Work Through Conflict Strategies for Relationships

Conflicts can arise in any relationship. You can come into conflict with coworkers, family members and friends, so you need to think about how conflict resolution works.

Acknowledge the Conflict

By acknowledging the conflict, you indicate that you seek a solution. Decide what you need changed and why, and what you might be willing to give in return, and you will be able to have a productive conversation instead of an accusing argument.

Listen

Listen to the words the other person is saying. What you think is the problem may not be what he thinks is the problem.

Use Constructive Language and Find Common Ground

Use language that builds a solution and engenders goodwill. Work from common ground, then start discussing how to compromise on other things.

Let the Past Stay in the Past

Unless things are still unresolved and affect things for both of you in the future, allow the resolution or compromise to hold. Resentment destroys the resolution you both worked to build.

Find a Mediator

If you are unable to resolve things yourselves, find someone trusted and impartial to act as a mediator. This person would not act as a judge (unless you want her to), but rather as someone to listen to all sides, ensure all sides are heard and point out possible misunderstandings and common ground.

References

• Conflict Resolution Strategies in the Workplace
• Conflict Resolution Strategies
• "Already Listening"

Resources

• "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation" Deborah Tannen; 2001.
• "That's Not What I Meant!"; Deborah Tannen; 1987.
• "How to Win Friends and Influence People"; Dale Carnegie; 1936.