Damage Caused by Parental Alienation
When parents get divorced, one of the biggest issues they face is how to work together to raise their child. This can be especially difficult when dealing with the damage caused by parental alienation.
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Identification
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Parental alienation occurs when one parent prevents the other parent from having a relationship with the child. Behaviors of the alienating parent can be verbal or nonverbal and are most likely to appear in divorces involving significant conflict.
Taking Sides
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The child feels pressured to take the alienating parent's side. This often causes an internal conflict for the child between wanting a relationship with the other parent and making the alienating parent happy.
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Inability to Forgive
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Because the alienating parent cannot forgive, she tries to guarantee that the child does not have a relationship with the other parent. She may go out of her way to remind the child of things that the other parent did wrong. This prevents the child from moving past her own anger and forgiving.
End Result
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If the alienating parent is successful, the child no longer has a relationship with the other parent. The child is likely to place blame for this lack on the alienated parent. Later, when able to see the situation more clearly, the child will understand the damage that the alienating parent has done, causing problems in their relationship.
Future Relationships
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Since children often model their relationships on their parents', parental alienation has a long-lasting effect on the child's future relationships. He might be unable to trust others. Also, because he has witnessed the strife in his parents' relationship, he might choose to avoid relationships altogether.
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References
Resources
- Photo Credit children image by yaros from Fotolia.com
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Comments
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Being a parent going through this is nothing less then pure hell. The hurt, sadness and wishing you know what to do is mindboggling! Its not easy but then again I cant imagine what its like for my one adult child loving home dealing with the comments day after day. I know its traumatizing. How sad adults act so horrible only thinking of themselves. Karma will get you in the end!
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ansimpson
Mar 18, 2010
I agree wholeheartedly. The main conflict is, these people are more likely to be the people who weren't ready for marriage and kids, thus they don't take full responsibility for their kids as to how they are going to feel ten years down the road. It's all about the parents, which is'nt healthy at all.
