Silent Treatment in Relationships

The silent treatment in relationships might be easy to recognize, but it is often quite difficult to understand. People have diverse excuses for the use of such "stonewalling," but this frustrating behavior is utilized by those who seek control and protection. Indeed, there are alternatives to this unhealthy dynamic.

Characteristics

After a relational conflict, someone who chooses to use the silent treatment ignores his partner for a desired time period. This distancing mechanism often called "the cold shoulder" allows the partner using it to feign apathy.

When It Is Used

People justify the use of the silent treatment with excuses like their need or their partner's need for time to think and have space from the relationship. Others use the silent treatment when they don't want to deal with relational conflict or are overwhelmed, anxious and/or depressed.

Who Uses It

Many abusers use the silent treatment as a means of control--whether it be their partners or their own emotions. It is also used by people who are passive-aggressive, as well as by those who feel the need to protect themselves from communication that might hurt them.

Why It Is Destructive

The silent treatment does not resolve a problem; it completely disregards the other person. The only thing it produces is a sense of abandonment and feelings of fear.

Alternatives

A much healthier alternative for those in relationships is the ability to engage in honest communication when problems arise. If couples could confront each other in the most non-confrontational ways possible, they would have a much greater chance of being productive in resolving their issues.

References

• Talk About Relationships
• The Silent Treatment-A form of abuse