Silent Treatment in a Marriage

The silent treatment is as old as marriage itself. One, or both, refuse to back down or admit they could be at fault. Typically women have carried the blame for the silent treatment over the years; truth is, husbands play the silent game just as much.

Significance

Generally, it is a power play--a way of taking a stand and refusing to give in. By keeping silent the spouse is actually making a grand statement . . . I am right and you are wrong--until you see it my way, I will punish you by not speaking to you.

Effects

The effects of the silent treatment could create a large gap in the relationship if frequent bouts of silence interrupt what should be healthy communication. Manipulating your partner through silence does not promote growth in your relationship.

Function

The silent treatment functions in a relationship a few ways--it says you are not willing to compromise, you believe your partner should be punished for not agreeing with you and you don't have enough respect to talk things through to find a solution. None of these things are good for a marriage.

Time Frame

Whether lasting a few minutes, hours or days there is never an acceptable time to keep silent from your partner. Without communication a relationship will wither and eventually die.

Prevention

If your relationship has lost any form of healthy communication and is filled with long periods of empty silence between you because of petty disagreements, couples counseling could help to open up the lines of communication once again. It would be a shame to lose your marriage because you were too stubborn to talk to your partner.

References

• Family and Marriage Counseling Website