Unity Candle Traditions
The lighting of the unity candle symbolizes the joining together of two families--the bride's and the groom's--into a single family unit. Other couples use the ceremony to mean the bringing together of their individuality, to form a mutual commitment. Whatever meaning you choose to ascribe to this ceremony, it is increasingly popular throughout the United States and Canada.
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History
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The history and traditions that surround the unity candle are unclear. Most researchers have traced unity candle ceremonies to the increased involvement of mothers in weddings in the early 1960s. The ceremony gained momentum during the 1970s with interfaith marriages. However, there is evidence that suggests the candle lighting ceremony started in the 1920s and 1930s.
Considerations
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There is no right or wrong way to light the unity candle, as there are no hard and fast rules that surround this tradition. Each couple is free to make decisions about how they would best like to use the candle.
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Ceremonial Items
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Typically, for the unity-candle ceremony, two taper-style candles and a large cylinder-style candle are used. It is the largest of the candles that is the actual unity candle. For outdoor ceremonies, glass lanterns filled with liquid paraffin are not uncommon.
Ceremony
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Usually during the wedding processional, the mothers of the bride and the groom will each light a taper on a table at the front of the church or venue. The tapers may represent the bride and groom or the family of the bride and groom. The mothers will then return to their seats; the candles stay lit throughout the ceremony.
After the couple exchanges vows and the rings, the officiant will explain the meaning of the candles to those in attendance. The couple will then take the two tapers and light the actual unity candle.
Ceremony Variations
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Since each couple can bring their own meaning to the lighting of the unity candle, there are many variations. After the couple lights the large candle, some will extinguish their tapers, symbolizing that they are now one. Other couples prefer to allow the two tapers to remain lit, symbolizing that although they are now one, they will maintain their individuality.
Family Inculsion
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If the couple has children, it is easy to incorporate them into the wedding ceremony by allowing them to take part in lighting the unity candle. Instead of having the mothers of the bride and groom light the candles, have representatives from each side of the family be the ones to light them. If only the bride has children, her children can light a taper and the groom's parents can light the other one.
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