What Is Emotional Unavailability?

When you feel as if there is a wall between you and your significant other, you or your partner may be emotionally unavailable. However, not all of us are able to recognize or identify what this wall is and why it's there. Emotional unavailability can happen for several reasons. It's important to be able to know what it is and what to do about it.

Definition

Emotional unavailability is the inability to communicate and share feelings with another person.

Identification

Emotionally unavailable people have trouble with commitment. When with another person they tend to be ambiguous about the status of the relationship. They also have trouble directly addressing problems with themselves and their relationships.

Types of Emotional Unavailability

Different types of people can be emotionally unavailable, including thrill seekers, narcissists, overinvolved parents, addicts, intellectuals and secretive people.

Conversations With Others

When conversing with others, emotionally unavailable people tend to like to give and hear the facts and nothing more. In arguments they tune out or shut down, and they may eventually have large emotional bursts from suppressing themselves too long.

Change

Emotionally unavailable people don't change overnight. They must choose to confront what make them unavailable and seek out a change themselves. No one can fix their problems for them.

References

• Identifying Emotional Unavailability
• Symptoms
• Counselor Craig Miller