Thank You Etiquette for a Sympathy Card

You can express your gratitude to those who supported you during the loss of a loved one with a brief thank you note. Pre-printed cards are now considered acceptable; the rule used to be that a thank you was written by hand, and this is still an option.

Recipients

Pallbearers; people who helped you with the service; clergy; and people who sent flowers, mass cards or donations to charities should get a thank you card or note.

Sender

A widow or widower isn't the only one who can send thank you notes. The children, grandchildren or siblings of the deceased can send them on her or his behalf.

Signature

Sign the card from your whole family ("Mr. and Mrs. John Robinson and family"), because the gesture you are thanking for was meant for all of you.

Timing

While people will understand that you are dealing with a loss, try to send your thank yous as soon as you feel up to it.

Personalize

Add a few lines to pre-printed cards to express how the person helped or comforted you, such as, "Thank you so much for handling the refreshments at the reception."

Mail

Use real, paper thank-you notes, as opposed to e-mail. The jury is still divided on whether thank yous sent through e-mail are appropriate.

References

• TheFuneralDirectory.com: Sympathy Thank You Card Etiquette
• Buzzle.com: Sympathy Thank You - Writing Thank You Notes After A Funeral