What are the Symptoms of Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is perhaps something that people find easy to detect, an act that is too overt to go unnoticed. Unlike physical abuse, however, there is a fine line between playful irreverence and a genuine verbal lashing. The key to establishing the presence of verbal abuse in a relationship, platonic or otherwise, is the tone and frequency of the language being doled out.

Identification

When questioning whether or not you are being verbally abused by someone, it is pertinent to ask yourself:

Has this behavior started recently or has it been ongoing?

Have I done something to incite this person without first addressing why he or she is acting out?

Have I directly told this person that he or she is making me uncomfortable?

Effects

The effects of verbal abuse are incontrovertibly damaging. While there may not be cuts and bruises on your body, as is often the case with physical abuse, the person antagonizing you is devastating your emotional psyche. Eventually, you'll start to believe the hurtful words he or she is slinging at you and it will only make you cling more desperately to the cancerous relationship.

Prevention/Solution

Even though it is far from effortless, the most effective way to solve the issue of verbal abuse is to sever communication with the person who is doing it. If this person is genuinely too caustic to be around and even goes as far as to denigrate you in front of mutual friends, it is absolutely essential to cut this person out of your life. If you've expressed clearly to him or her that he or she is stepping out of line, and his or her actions do not change, the relationship should not continue.

Considerations

Verbal abuse is very specific to each person's relationship. As noted before, the duration of time that the verbal abuse has gone on is very significant in one's decision to eject the abuser from his or her life. If you've really given the person a fair chance to improve, you should have no remorse about ousting him or her.

Misconceptions

Bearing in mind that verbal abuse is a very serious matter and on par with being physically battered, it is also imperative to be certain that you are not being overly sensitive to a bit of harmless banter. Some people have a more biting sense of humor than others.

Resources

• Verbal Abuse Help and Resource