They lie. They cheat. They steal. You fight all the time. You never have sex. You hate being with them. These are all the obvious relationship deal breakers, but what about the less obvious signs? It might be time to start thinking up exit strategies if more than a few of these subtle red flags apply to you and your significant other…
1. They don’t let you meet their friends.
You keep hearing the same names dropped—they’re going out to get drinks with the guys again. When you suggest tagging along, the answer is always, “Sure, maybe next time.” If your partner doesn’t want you to meet their friends, that’s a big problem.
2. Your IMs and texts are never returned in a reasonable amount of time.
If you notice that your significant other is always on their phone, yet when you text them, it seems to take several hours to get a response; you’re probably a low priority. The future of this relationship looks bleak.
3. She doesn’t care what you wear anymore.
Maybe you’re already a snappy dresser and she’s never tried to re-wardrobe you. Good for you. But if she used to shake her head every time you put on your favorite beat-up flannel, and now she can’t even be bothered say a word about the same shirt, a part of her stopped caring a while ago.
4. You’re always the one making the plans.
Yes, either of you can plan fun couples activities, but if you’re always the one tasked with putting in the effort by scheduling dinners and just generally initiating everything, that’s a great sign that your partner’s just mailing it in now.
5. The bulk of your communication takes place online.
It’s easy to maintain constant contact thanks to social networks, texts, IMs, and so on. And yes, those fast-flying messages might be chock-full of cuteness, affection, and sexiness, but if you find you’re talking more through texts than face-to-face, can you really even call what you have a meaningful relationship?
6. Their politeness and gratitude is a thing of the past.
It’s the little things: You hold the door or on a whim, you bring home her favorite candy bar, make her an impromptu dinner—whatever. A simple “thank you” would be nice, right? If your gestures go unnoticed or unappreciated time and again, then you probably start preparing your “Thanks, but no thanks” break-up speech.
7. They can’t even muster up the interest to argue anymore.
No fighting in a relationship sounds good, in theory. But if they start to retreat into a shell every time your talks get tough or you start to disagree, then they’re avoiding the hard stuff that couples have to go through if they’re really going to grow as a pair. A non-fighter doesn’t care enough about the future of a relationship to fight for it.
8. You have no idea why their previous relationships ended.
Yup, it’s totally bad form to talk about exes… at first. But if you’ve been together for a while and you haven’t heard an inking about what went wrong with their previous relationships, chances are they’re bad “breaker-uppers:” a telling sign of unstable things to come.
9. Or… all their exes are either jerks or crazy, or both.
At first, it’s just great to hear that none of your new boyfriend’s exes compared to you. But think about it—nobody’s perfect, so how come everyone they ever dated was a horrible monster? If every one of your boyfriend’s exes were jerks and he claims he just has “bad luck” in past relationships, your fate will be no different than the trail of crazy jerks he’s left behind.
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