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21 Signs You Might be Too Old to Shop at Forever 21

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We’ve all done it… been seduced by Forever 21’s windows filled with petite mannequins dressed in uber-cheap designer lookalikes. But is anyone really 21 forever? If you agree with at least half of these signs,  your next clothes-buying spree might need to happen at a sensible Ann Taylor Loft (or at the very least, The Gap).

1. Your first thought on spotting a romper is not “too cute,” but “how am I going to pee in this thing?”

2. Ironic imagery on clothes that feature bands like Joan Jett and the Blackhearts make you reminisce about buying their albums… on tape and CD.

3. Your ego shrinks as your clothing size rises. (A size 6 at The Gap equals an extra-large at Forever 21? How does that equate?)

4. You get caught up in the store’s overhead music and begin dancing until a salesperson stops to see if you need medical assistance.

5. Part of your purchasing process is trying to figure out the best Spanx to wear beneath the short shorts you just purchased.

6. You see a rack of bandeau bra tops and mistakenly think scrunchies are making a comeback.

7. Instead of counting your items, the dressing-room attendant just says “good luck” as you enter the fitting room.

8. To you, taking a selfie is locking yourself in the bathroom with a tumbler of wine and copy of US Weekly.

9. You try on the same crop top as the girl in the room next you. You look like the before picture.

10.  You’re enticed by Forever 21’s shoes, but you can’t see spending money on plastic soles. Also, you know there’s a difference between plastic soles and leather soles.

11.  The last time you were carded, you were wearing a fluorescent V-neck sweater from The Limited. And it was awesome.

12.  You think “less is more” should apply to rhinestones, not fabric.

13.  You bring your own reusable shopping bag because carrying the yellow one they give you feels like you’re wearing your underwear over your clothes.

14.  You remember a time when wearing a cat on a sweatshirt was a sign that one gave up—hello, cat lady.

15.  As you’re rung up, the clerk tells you, “Your daughter is going to love this!”

16.  You’d rather spend $5 on fancy coffee than a cheap cocktail ring; the coffee will last longer.

17.  You leave your sunglasses on inside the store and it’s not to look good: it’s so your migraine won’t get worse amid the throbbing techno and proliferate neon tees.

18.  You remember the first time everything on the racks of Forever 21 was in style, from your old, well-worn copies of Sassy.

19.  You think “fringe” is a British word for bangs, not an adequate stomach covering.

20.  When every tag seems to be for an extra-small, you remind yourself that you’re never too old to cry in public.

21.  You emerge from Forever 21 with half a new wardrobe thinking that preserving your dignity is just a form of snobbery. Besides, that romper is going to look soooo cute at your niece’s birthday party.

Photo credit: Getty Images

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