How To Avoid Being Detected By An American Drone

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Drones. Crazy world, right? Back in the ‘60s, we dreamt of a society where robots did all of our heavy lifting while we enjoyed a life of leisure: zipping around in jet-packs, enjoying Tang and seven-course meals in pill form.

But has our love affair with robot technology become “complicated?” While robotics have propelled the medical field (artificial limbs powered by air muscles), space exploration (NASA’s Rovers) and countless other industries, the drawbacks of robotic progress might be surfacing.

While it’s not news that the US military has made great leaps in protecting its soldiers and homeland with sophisticated robotic technology, concerned Americans in major cities (New York, Chicago, Los Angeles) have recently reported sightings of aircraft similar to what aerial drones look like. Were they American-issue? President Obama, and the director of the CIA, John Brenna, denies drone use on US citizens, but should we be alarmed by weekly reports of domestic sightings?

Ultimately, due to low-cost and efficiency, American drones are here to stay—specifically in the search and rescue, and forest fire detection fields, but if they ever are used on American citizens, there are ways to avoid them.

Move on Foot in a Zig-Zag Pattern
Drones are still in their early stages of development. They’re fast, they can rise and fall 50 feet within 5 seconds, but their left-to-right movement is inefficient at best. When traveling by foot, walk in a loose zig-zaggy trajectory. Doing this keeps you off a drone’s biological remote sensors. (Fun fact: This is also the way to escape an alligator attack—they can only move forward in straight paths.)

Wrap the Top Surfaces of Your Car with Plastic Wrap
Saran Wrap will do, as will any of the other big-name brands like Reynolds or Glad. The sun will reflect off the plastic wrap, essentially “scrambling” the drone’s UAV remote sensing functions. (Note: Don’t use generic store-brand plastic wrap—they rarely cling as well.)

Always Carry a Portable Ham Radio
Most drones track their prey with electromagnetic spectrum sensors—in layman’s terms, wavelengths that you might find on a radio, microwave, x-rays, and yes—a ham radio.  When being followed by a drone, rapidly change frequencies on the radio’s VFH band. This hacks into a military “reset” in the drone’s aprilvis radar, sending it back to its point of takeoff.

Always Wear Aloe Vera-based Sunblock
All drones hunt for their targets with infrared sensors when tracking electromagnetic radiation. In short, they find you by your body heat with thermocouple sensors. Luckily, you can lower your body temperature by applying liberal amounts of Aloe Vera-based sunblock all over your body, including the back of your neck, under your arms, and groin (scientifically, the three hottest regions of your body). A water-proof aloe sunblock with a SPF of 45 or higher will lessen your body temperature by 60 percent.

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