What Is Healthy Jealousy?

It's important to understand healthy jealousy.

William Shakespeare describes jealousy as the "green eyed monster" in his tragedy "Othello." Movies and novels often portray jealousy as undesirable and destructive. When you examine this emotion up close, however, you may discover that some of its aspects can be surprisingly benevolent. Whether you experience this universal emotion in yourself or in others, you can recognize and understand healthy jealousy. Once understood, you can harness the power of jealousy to enhance your life.

Definition

Despite its negative association, the word "jealousy" originates in the Greek word zelos, defined as jealousy, but also as eager rivalry, emulation, zeal, honor and glory. AskOxford.com defines jealousy as being "envious of someone else's achievements or advantages," "resentful of someone regarded as a sexual rival" or as being "fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions."

Features

"Normal" or healthy jealousy arises as resentment toward a perceived threat or rival, according to D. M. Buss and colleagues in a 1992 Psychological Science article. In addition to jealousy, the perceived threat to a love relationship triggers behaviors that aim to sustain the love bond. Michael Kingham and Harvey Gordon, in the 2004 edition of "Advances in Psychiatric Treatment," add that people who experience healthy jealousy tend to perceive a single rival, do so in response to firm evidence and modify their beliefs and behaviors as new information becomes available.

Distinction

As opposed to healthy jealousy, Kingham and Gordon describe morbid jealousy as a psychiatric condition. The dominant theme is preoccupation with a partner's sexual unfaithfulness. Morbidly jealous individuals conclude infidelity from unfounded evidence or irrelevant occurrences and do not change their beliefs in the face of conflicting evidence. Typically, they accuse the partner of infidelity with many others. In this pathological condition, individuals also manifest unacceptable or extreme associated behaviors, ranging from stalking and constant checking to violent behavior toward the partner and suicide.

Types

You may exhibit healthy jealousy yourself or witness it in others when you are vigilant to protect something you value. You may, for example, jealously protect your civil rights. In a love relationship, you often experience jealousy when you or your partner perceives a threat to the relationship, as Buss and his colleagues contend. Another healthy jealousy type stems from the desire to emulate another person and to achieve what he has.

Benefits

Moderate jealousy provides a healthy evolutionary "watchdog" to protect a couple's relationship, suggests University of Texas psychologist David Buss. Given the tremendous psychological investment that goes into a love relationship, jealousy may help shield it from rivals and possible betrayals. It's also important to remember that "all emotions, even jealousy, are trying to tell us something about ourselves," says Erik Fisher, Ph.D., author of "The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict." Instead of denying the presence of jealousy, Fisher suggests that you acknowledge it, identify what you are missing in yourself and then plan and work toward what you want.

References

• "A Greek-English Lexicon, rev. ed."; Henry George Liddell and Robert Scott; 1940
• Ask Oxford: Jealous
• "Psychological Science"; Sex Differences in Jealousy: Evolution, Physiology, and Psychology; D. M. Buss, R. J. Larsen, D. Westen, and J. Semmelroth; July 1992
• "Advances in Psychiatric Treatment"; Michael Kingham and Harvey Gordon; 2004
• "The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex"; David M. Buss, Ph.D.; 2000