What Is the Meaning of R.S.V.P?
RSVP is an abbreviation of the French term "Respondez, s'il vous plait," which translated to English means "Please respond." A response should be made to tell the party planner whether you are going to attend or not attend. According to the wedding website The Knot, if you do not respond, you will be called to verify your attendance. Sending back a reply card or calling with your response is the polite thing to do.
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Function
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An RSVP on a personal invitation is another way for the hostess to tell you that you must respond. A variation on RSVP is "regrets" or "regrets only," meaning only persons who cannot make it need to respond. Otherwise, the hostess will assume you will be in attendance. RSVPs are a way for the party giver to know how much food to buy, how many tables to plan for, how much wine to purchase and what seating arrangements to make.
Considerations
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Once an RSVP has been returned stating you will attend, etiquette dictates you will attend the party, barring a major emergency or personal event. If you lose the reply card, a personal note or phone call can be substituted for the card, but the emphasis is on responding, and responding promptly.
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Effects
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Despite the need for the party giver to know who's coming, an article in Best Wedding Sites points out more than half of Americans do not RSVP, even to online invitations. This lack of protocol is "turning entertaining into a guessing game." In 2004 etiquette expert Miss Manners noted that even simple check off answers "have a dismal return."
Online RSVPs
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A 2006 New York Times article detailed the rise in personal comments about why someone cannot make it to a party or cannot decide about going. Peggy Post, Emily Post's great-great-granddaughter and etiquette author, said no reason is needed for declining an invitation. A simple yes or no will do, but do respond.
Expert Insight
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Anna Post, another great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and author of "Emily Post's Wedding Parties," says email RSVPs are acceptable if all the guests have email, all the guest use email and you know all their current addresses. If RSVPs are crucial, then do not use email. Regarding email replies for nuptials, she wrote, "never if it's a wedding," in her March 2010 article, "Is 'RSVP' Optional in the Age of Evite?" She points out what etiquette writers have stated for decades. "We are likely to be a guest more often that we are to be a host, so, as the French say, respond, if you please."
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References
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- Photo Credit party invitation image by robert mobley from Fotolia.com
