Post-Marriage Problems
According to “AAMFT Consumer Update Marital Distress” published by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, every marriage has problems. It is natural for marriages to have their ups and downs; however, some marital problems can deeply hurt couples causing them to withdraw, argue and lose good feelings towards each other. It is essential for spouses to recognize the internal and external factors that create these problems in order to seek help and solve them on time.
Other People Are Reading
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The Vulnerability-Stress Adaptation Model of Marriage
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The article “Keeping Marriages Healthy and Why It’s so Difficult” written by Dr. Benjamin Karney and published by the American Psychological Association (APA) explains that happy married couples focus their attention on the overall positive aspects of their marriage. Even when circumstances change, they each adapt their perceptions to continue focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and avoid blaming each other for the marital flaws.
Personal Vulnerabilities
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Karney explains that factors such an individual’s personality traits (impulsiveness, openness) and his capacity to solve problems influence the way that individual behaves as a spouse. For some individuals it is natural to pay selective attention to the positive aspects of the marriage while ignoring or solving the negative ones, while others need to learn those skills.
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External Circumstances
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Karney further explains that even spouses who have the natural traits to deal with marital problems are highly affected by external circumstances such as high levels of stress. The article “Stress in America” published by the American Psychological Association claims that 32 percent of Americans regularly report experiencing high levels of stress. When stressed, married people, more than divorced or single people, fight with their close family. More than 70 percent of Americans identified work and money as being on the rise as stressors, according to the APA.
Work and Marriage
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According to the article “Stress in America,” 35 percent of Americans report feeling stressed when work demands interfere with their family responsibilities. Parents of young and school-aged children are more likely than parents of teenagers (18 percent and 12 percent vs. 2 percent, respectively) to report that work is a very significant source of stress when it interferes with their family duties.
Money and Marriage
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According to the article “Debt Brought into Marriage” published by Utah State University financial problems are linked to increased levels of marital duress and decreased levels of marital satisfaction. Financial problems are one of the major causes of divorce. Major debt is one of the top five financial problems in marriages, and according to the article, one of the characteristics of happy couples is that they do not have major debt problems.
Help for Married Couples
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Couples can look for help to improve their communication skills and control external stressors. The article “Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together” published by the American Psychological Association explains that marital education programs such as PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) and PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) are effective at helping couples stay together and make happy marriages. Resources such as the information published on”Basic Financial Planning for Newlyweds” (See Resources) can guide couples in evaluating and improving their financial situation.
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References
- American Psychological Association: Keeping Marriages Healthy and why it’s so Difficult
- American Psychological Association: Stress in America
- Utah State University: Debt Brought into Marriage
- American Psychological Association: Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together
- American Association for Family Therapy: AAMFT Consumer Update Marital Distress
Resources
- Photo Credit marriage image by Sonar from Fotolia.com
