Bad Family Communication
Communication enables a group of related individuals to function effectively as a family. When communication among family members is not present or is dysfunctional, the ability to act together as a family is greatly diminished. Bad communication makes for poor family connection. In this circumstance conflicts arise, common everyday disputes go unresolved and family members can feel they are not understood or appreciated.
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Features
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Communication happens when two or more people exchange information, ideas, feelings and attitudes. When one family member speaks or writes, the others see or hear the words. Then, another member may speak or write and the others will see or hear her words. Each individual interprets what he understands of what is seen or heard. Communication is effective to the extent that the understanding conveyed matches what was intended.
Bad communication frequently results when you focus on what you want to say instead of listening to the speaker. It’s hard to understand what’s been said when you really haven’t heard it. When you bring up other concerns and issues of yours that are unrelated to the topic being discussed, bad communication can result.
Effects
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If you believe you know what is right for others in the family and attempt to convince them of your opinion, you may find their reaction is negative and leads to disputes. Assuming you know what others are thinking or that they should know what you are thinking, can also lead to difficult communication.
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Solution
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Listen actively. Focus on what the other family member is saying in order to understand both the words and the feelings expressed. You can improve this skill by paraphrasing back to the person what you heard before starting on what you want to say. Look at the speaker to note body language that may be different from what is said.
Be sure not to offer advice until you have the other member’s permission to do so. Try to avoid making the advice sound like criticism.
Considerations
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When family members live together, it’s inevitable that conflicts will arise. “Your opinion of my friend makes me mad.” “I want to watch this program on the TV now.” “I hated what you made for supper.” Conflict is less likely to arise when family members feel appreciated and understood. To the extent possible, seek compromises that show concern for everyone’s views and feelings.
Benefits
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When family members model good communication, children learn the proper skills. With good examples, children learn to listen to others and to expect others will listen to them. They learn there are ways to settle disagreements so that everyone benefits and nobody is hurt.
All in the family learn communication skills that help them function effectively outside the family as well.
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References
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- Photo Credit family on the meadow image by Marzanna Syncerz from Fotolia.com
