Dating & Relationship Violence
Abuse can occur in many forms--emotional, physical or mental. When dating or forming a relationship, people should be aware of the signs of abuse. If an individual finds himself or herself in an abusive dating or relationship scenario, there are many factors to keep in mind. No matter how the person chooses to handle violence, they should remember to stay safe.
Other People Are Reading
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Facts
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Adult daters aren't the only ones who face violence in relationships. According to loveisrespect.org, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline website, teens have a high risk of being involved in a violent relationship situation: “One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.”
Victims of abuse can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.
What Is Abuse?
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When you begin dating someone or forming a new relationship, it may take a while for your partner to reveal abusive behavior. If the partner does so at any stage of your relationship, it is important to take note of it and end your relationship as soon as possible.
Here is a list of warning signs to look for in an abuser:
--Makes you feel unsafe in any way.
--Attempt to control your behavior and/or monitor your email/online interactions.
--Exhibits excessive jealousy.
--Looks as if he is about to hit you or actually hits you.
--Calls you names or belittles you frequently.
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Dating Violence
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While there is a lot of focus on relationship violence, it is important to remember that it often begins in the dating stage. When dating, one should look for signs of abuse and react to them promptly. The longer you allow a violent dating situation to continue, the more likely it is to become a relationship, which is even more difficult to end.
Unfortunately, many teenage girls fear being violently attacked by their partner. Results of a survey, supported by the Liz Claiborne Inc. and conducted by the Family Violence Prevention Fund, on the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline site indicates that “one in three girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.”
Leaving the Relationship
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If you are dating someone who is abusive, end the relationship immediately. While doing so might seem painful and complicated, it is in your best interest. Violent behavior puts your life in danger.
In order to stay safe, end the relationship through email or over the phone. Doing so in person might make your partner angry or give her a chance to attack you. Be cautious of potential stalkers and make family and friends aware of your situation so they may help if necessary.
If your former partner has hit you in the past or threatens you when you end the relationship, a restraining order should be obtained.
If You are Attacked
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If your partner looks as if they are going to attack you, try to move to a safe area immediately. Avoid being trapped in areas such as a kitchen or bathroom. Also, do not run to a room where children or animals may be present. The abusive person might injure them, too.
If you find yourself in a threatening situation with a violent partner, defend yourself as best as possible. The National Domestic Violence Hotline advises that "(i)f violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target; dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.”
Warning
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If you are subjected to physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse, seek assistance immediately. Remember that no one should ever be abused.
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References
Resources
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