Premarital Counseling Information
In the United States, approximately 50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second marriages and 74 percent of third marriages end in divorce, according to the Divorce Rate website. The aim of premarital counseling is to prepare engaged couples for the conflicts they will inevitably face, so they will be more likely to enjoy a successful and happy marriage. Sessions are generally conducted prior to the marriage ceremony, but couples may choose to continue meeting with their counselor months after their wedding days.
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History
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Group therapy is a relatively recent development in the field of psychology. It wasn't until the 1920s that psychologists began to realize that family significantly shapes the individual, and family therapy did not actually begin until the 1950s. Premarital counseling is part of this movement toward group therapy, and it wasn't until the late 20th century that it became commonplace.
Types
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The most common type of counseling is done by certified counselors with degrees in psychology or social work. Depending on their religious beliefs, some couples may choose to go to religious counselors. In the case of religious or spiritual counselors, certification is not always required. If a person holds a certain amount of respect and authority in the church or a missions organization, they may perform premarital counseling. Couples must decide what kind of counseling they believe would be most meaningful to them.
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Proposed Benefits
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Organizations that encourage premarital counseling, like counseling centers and churches, claim that it is effective in reducing the likelihood of divorce and increasing marital satisfaction. These claims are difficult to verify because "premarital counseling" or "premarital education" are most common among middle-class, white Americans, and this reduces researchers' ability to test whether premarital counseling is beneficial for everyone, according to researchers at the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Findings of their research that included a broader study population in regard to race, income and education were published in the "Journal of Family Psychology" in 2006. Their findings indicated that premarital counseling is beneficial for a wide range of couples and helps reduce the odds of divorce.
What to Expect
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Topics a premarital counselor will likely cover are finances, problem-solving, sex and intimacy, spiritual beliefs, personal values and expectations. The purpose of these discussions is to get both partners on the same page. Coming out of counseling, couples should be equipped with practical strategies for handling decisions, and they should know more about where their partner stands on important family issues.
Considerations
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After a couple decides to have premarital counseling, it's important that they take the time to research all available options. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and you don't want just anyone handling such an important issue. Make sure the counselor you select has experience in the field and a good reputation. As a general rule, it's a bad idea to accept premarital counseling from someone who cannot view your relationship objectively; for example, someone who is close to you or your family. If you are considering premarital counseling from a religious leader, be sure that person shares your values and beliefs.
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References
- Divorce Rate: Statistics
- The Family and Marriage Counseling Directory: Getting Married? Six Reasons to Get Premarital Counseling
- Abacon.com: Family Therapy-Historical Overview
- Mayo Clinic: Premarital Counseling
- "Journal of Family Psychology": Premarital Education, Marital Quality and Marital Stability-Findings from a Large, Random Household Survey
Resources
- Photo Credit marriage jewelry image by Lansera from Fotolia.com
