Phone Call Etiquette for Dating

Phone calls while dating require tact and a sense of courtesy.

The first phone calls during the dating process rank as some of the scariest and most exciting parts of a romance. You're speaking directly to the person for the first time, getting an idea of who they are unfiltered by the more calculated exchanges in emails and text messages. Proper dos and don'ts can be unclear during phone calls. Dating etiquette means being courteous and thoughtful without appearing overly eager.

Time Frame

When calling a potential date, choose a period in the late afternoon or early evening, after the workday is over but before it gets too late. Always call a few days before any date you have in mind because you don't want to spring anything on him too quickly. If you give a specific time that you plan to call him, then stick to it. There's nothing ruder than making someone wait by the phone for a call that doesn't happen.

Messages

Leaving messages can be tricky; people often become flustered while making them and sound unduly awkward. If you get an answering machine, stick to the point; mention your name, the purpose of your call and a number or email address where you can be reached. Speak calmly and clearly and make certain you're heard. After you've left your message, don't call again until she responds; multiple messages make you sound desperate.

Content

Phone calls should be upbeat and optimistic when speaking to a potential date. Even if things aren't going well for you at the moment, stay away from gloomy subjects or complaints. Talk about things you enjoy and engage the other person in topics she likes. Always end the call on a sunny note; that leaves a lasting impression in ways the other parts of the call may not.

Waiting

Waiting for the other person to call back tends to cause a lot of anxiety. Like leaving multiple messages, calling multiple times gives an impression of clinginess or desperation. Most people have fairly busy lives and may not be able to get back to you for a few days. Be patient and give him time to respond. If he can't be bothered to contact you on in three or four days, he's probably not worth dating anyway.

Warning

Generally speaking, it's not polite to push for excessive personal information during a phone call. If you haven't formally met for a date yet or you're in the very early stages of a relationship, the other person may not be comfortable giving you his address or place of business. Similarly, you're not obligated to give out any information you're not comfortable with over the phone, and you're within your rights to chide the other person for asking. Those details will come in time; for now, you need to establish basic levels of trust and comfort.

References

• Top Dating Tips: Dating Etiquette and Rules to Follow
• Ask Men: 7 Golden Rules for Phone Calls
• Dating and Mating in America: Email, Text and Phone Call Return Etiquette