Mormon Wedding Etiquette
All weddings follow certain rules and guidelines. These are known as etiquette, and can vary greatly from wedding to wedding. Different religions may impact the etiquette of a wedding in many different ways. Understanding what some of those rules are can help you avoid any confusion at any wedding you attend. Mormon weddings have a very specific set of rules and expectations, and knowing these ahead of time can be very helpful.
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Invitation
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Paying close attention to the wording of the invitation will help you. Being invited to a Mormon wedding can have several different implications, depending upon the couple's devotion to their religion and to your own religious background. Looking at a Mormon wedding invitation will give you some clues on what to expect though. If the location of the wedding is a temple, then unless you have a current temple recommend, you will be sitting outside during the ceremony. If the invitation indicates that you will be going to a church, on the other hand, the ceremony that you will be attending will be substantially similar to what you would see in any other church wedding.
Reception Only
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For the most devout Mormons, a temple wedding is the ultimate experience to which they strive. Only couples that are found to follow all of the beliefs and practices of the Mormon church may be approved for such an honor. Couples that have a temple wedding may only invite others that are also practicing Mormons who hold a current temple recommend from a Bishop to enter the temple to attend their ceremony, which is known as a sealing. For this reason, it is not uncommon for friends and even some family of devout Mormons to receive an invitation to the reception only.
What exactly takes place during a Mormon temple wedding is generally unknown. Only the most religious Mormons may have or attend a temple wedding, and those that do are expressly forbidden from ever discussing it with anyone else.
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Chapel Weddings
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The vast majority of Mormon couples will opt instead to have a chapel wedding. A chapel wedding is held at a Mormon church, and is open to anyone of any faith. Chapel weddings are chosen by Mormon couples who are not yet able to get a temple recommend, by couples that may contain one Mormon partner and one non-Mormon partner or by those that wish to have the traditional white dress, music and ring ceremony. Often, couples that choose to have a chapel wedding will return and have a temple wedding a year later. As an invitee, the etiquette for a Mormon chapel wedding is substantially similar to the etiquette for any other church wedding.
Receptions
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Mormon wedding receptions are not notably different from many other wedding receptions with the exception of some of what you won't see there. There will be no alcohol, so don't plan on making a champagne toast. There will be no caffeinated beverages, so don't ask for coffee with your wedding cake. In all likelihood there will not be a garter toss, as the process of retrieving the garter is a bit too bawdy for Mormon believers. Some Mormon receptions are very low key, with no dancing, and mostly mingling and conversation for entertainment. Keep yourself low key, and you will not break any rules of etiquette.
Gifts
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One of the most common and often troubling questions for wedding guests is what to buy the happy couple. Many couples will make this easy for you by registering for their gifts. If however they do not, or you like to go outside of the lines and get something more personal, try to stay away from items that have no place in a Mormon home. Beautiful wine glasses may be a cherished addition to many newlyweds' china cabinets, but in a Mormon home, they serve no purpose, as the couple will not be drinking. A nice coffee pot is a must for many people, but Mormons don't drink coffee. Try to stick to what is on their list, or to things that are not related to alcohol or coffee and tea, and you should be alright.
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References
- Photo Credit Mormon Temple image by dwight9592 from Fotolia.com invitation mariage image by Christophe Thélisson from Fotolia.com
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Comments
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Since the lds church purchased stocks in Coke, caffeine is perfectly fine to drink. You may want to edit the part saying "no caffeinated beverages". Caffeine is fine is just no coffee or tea.
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I just wasted my time reading this... skip here to the bottom and read what I'm saying. don't read this article.
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If I were invited to a Mormon wedding in the temple, I would politely decline. I would expect anyone else to decline an invite to my wedding if he/she was not permitted (by the venue) to attend the ceremony. Even for a non-temple ceremony, a party where no one is drinking? No thanks. I went to a dry wedding once and, the entire time I was thinking "How long do I have to stay to avoid offending?" As for a "covenant to [sic] God", Else? Why invite anyone? I mean, if it's OK that some people you know and love (subject to ratification by the cult) cannot witness the moment the entire day is built around, then why have guests at all?
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I do have to add though, that I use it for sparkling cider and such. :D Even if I wasn't a member of this Church I wouldn't drink alcohol, it brings out the worst in people.
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I wish I could "like" your comment a hundred times Joshua. If anyone asked us what goes on in the Temple, we'd tell them the truth, but not details and not because it's a "cult" or "forbidden" but because if we told the sacred details of our relationship with the Lord, we'd be mocked for it. Better to leave things the way they are, then the "non-cult" population can only speculate instead of tearing apart covenants which mean everything to us.
