Protocol for Engagement Parties

An engagement party is one of many wedding traditions.

An engagement party builds excitement and gets everyone involved in preparation for the wedding day. Whether or not you have an engagement party is entirely up to you, but there are a few things you should keep in mind when throwing an engagement party. The wedding experts at The Knot recommend that an engagement party take place two to four months after the actual proposal of marriage.

Purpose

An engagement party gives a future bride and groom a venue where they can announce the impending marriage. It may be the first opportunity the family of the bride and groom meet. Guests who attend an engagement party enjoy celebrating a couple's engagement and wish them well as they begin the sometimes stressful, drawn-out process of wedding planning. Friends and family of the bride and groom may build relationships that will make future social gatherings more comfortable.

Style

The style of an engagement party can vary depending on the preference of the couple and the host's budget. Some couples choose the keep the engagement party simple, opting for an informal picnic or barbecue. Some couples prefer an intimate event in a private home. The host may cook the meal themselves or they can have the event catered. Many choose to go with something in between extremely formal and extra casual making cocktail parties with hors d'oeuvres a popular choice for engagement parties.

Host

Traditionally parents of the bride host the engagement party. But as more brides and grooms live far away from their parents, it is increasingly common for friends of the couple to hold the party. Some couples may even decide to host the party themselves. Couples may have multiple engagement parties in different cities or with different groups of acquaintances. Whoever throws the engagement party should be aware that those who are invited to the engagement party should also receive and invitation to the wedding.

Gifts

Traditional protocol does not dictate that guests bring a gift to an engagement party. If a guest decides to, they should discreetly present the gift to bride and groom. Couples may want to register before the engagement party so that guest who would like to buy a gift has guidance when selecting it. The couple should unwrap gifts after the party so that those who didn't bring one won't feel embarrassed. A gracious bride and groom will send a formal thank you card for any gifts they receive at the engagement party.

Considerations

An engagement party is not a must. If a couple has a short engagement, less than six months, they may forgo the festivities and wait for the wedding. Refrain from inviting exes, since this can create an awkward situation for the bride, groom or even some guest. If you attend an engagement party, remember that no matter your personal opinion of the impending nuptials, it is an occasion to focus on the happiness of the couple.

References

• The Knot: Engagement Parties: Planning 101
• Wedding Channel: Hosting and Engagement Party
• The Knot: Engagement Parties: Etiquette 101