Wedding & Shower Gift Etiquette
If you've recently been invited to the wedding of a friend or loved one, and have also received a invitation to a bridal shower, it's best to follow proper etiquette when presenting gifts on either occasion. Putting some thought into your gift and the impression it will have on the recipient will make both celebrations especially memorable.
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Buying Wedding and Shower Gifts
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According to etiquette, it is a nice gesture for guests to bring a gift to the bridal shower as well as the wedding reception. While wedding gifts are actually not mandatory, many guests and soon-to-be newlyweds view them as such, which is an etiquette faux pas. A gift, while not required for wedding attendance, sends the message that the giver is in support of the marriage, and wishes the couple well. It is usually more customary to bring a gift to the wedding shower than the reception, as the primary reason for having the shower is to supply the bride with gifts that will serve her well in her marriage.
Gift Registry
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When a couple registers for wedding gifts at their favorite department stores, it is not proper etiquette for the couple to include registry cards in their wedding invitations. Instead, the parents of the bride and groom, as well as members of the wedding party, should inform guests of the places where the couple is registered. Guests are encouraged, though not required, to purchase a gift on the registry list, to ensure that the couple will like the gift and find it useful. Couples should include presents in a number of price ranges, so that every guest will feel comfortable with his/her purchase. Some brides will also set up a gift registry for their bridal showers. The maid of honor or mother of the bride is usually responsible for letting shower guests know where the bride has registered.
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Wedding Gifts and Attendance
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If an invitee is unable to attend the wedding, it is not necessary to buy a more expensive gift to make up for the absence. However, friends and loved ones who are not able to make the wedding due to scheduling conflicts will often send a gift as a way to wish the couple well in their new life together. Price should not be a factor when selecting the gift; presents should be chosen by considering the personalities and preferences of the bride and groom.
Bridal Shower Gift Budget
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The price of the bridal shower gift should depend on your relationship with the bride, as well as your involvement in the wedding. For instance, some brides do not expect their bridesmaids to spend a fortune on a shower gift, since the bridesmaids often have to purchase their dresses, shoes and accessories for the wedding. The style of the bridal shower invitation should indicate the type of gifts that the bride would enjoy. If the invitations are crafty and hand-made, it is likely that the bride will appreciate a gift in a similar style. It is also becoming more and more common for couples to have a co-ed shower, in which case the gift should be a "his and hers" item, such as monogrammed towels or linens, or something the couple can both enjoy, like a gourmet wine and cheese basket. What is most important is that the giver presented the bride with something that was truly from the heart, and took time to select a gift the bride would enjoy.
When to Give Gifts
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For the bridal shower, it is most appropriate to give gifts at the actual event. If an invited guest is not able to attend the bridal shower, a gift is not required. According to etiquette, gifts are not to be given at the wedding reception -- the presents should be mailed or hand-delivered to the couple before the ceremony. Guests who are not able to attend the bridal shower or wedding ceremony should also mail gifts to the couple -- guests can send the presents directly to the bride and groom, or to the homes of the bride's or groom's parents. It is also acceptable etiquette to present a newlywed couple with gifts up to a year after the ceremony, but most people give presents as soon as possible so that they won't forget to do so.
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References
- Photo Credit A pair of wedding bands on an exquisite gold-colored gift box. image by weim from Fotolia.com
