Wedding Gift Etiquette for a Second Marriage

Wedding gift etiquette is slightly different for a second marriage.

If you're getting married for a second time, you and your spouse will want to make some adjustments to the traditions associated with gift giving. The etiquette associated with gifts are a little different for individuals who have been married before, but loved ones will likely still present you and your spouse with heartfelt presents that you'll treasure.

Registering for Gifts

It is acceptable for brides and grooms who are getting married for a second time to create a gift registry. As with first weddings, it's more tactful if the members of the wedding party let guests know where the couple is registered, but this rule of etiquette is often a little more relaxed with second weddings. The gifts on the registry should be more practical or hobby-related, such as DVD players or camping equipment, since individuals who have been married before often have basic household items that are given at first weddings. It's best to leave items like fine china or silverware off the registry, as these are associated with a first wedding.

Not Registering for Gifts

Some encore couples choose not to create a gift registry, which is fine as well. If a couple does not want to receive gifts for the second wedding, it is best to inform friends and family that money that would have been used for wedding presents can be sent to the couple's favorite charity. Or, the bride and groom can simply inform their guests that their presence is gift enough, so that friends and loved ones will not feel any pressure to purchase a gift.

Shower Gifts

It is not necessary for an encore bride to have a bridal shower; however, it is acceptable for a shower to be planned if the bride wants one. Since most women who have been married before have most essential household items, these should not be given as gifts, unless the bride requests otherwise. Gifts that are simply for the bride's enjoyment, such as bottles of her favorite wines, fondue kits, or a gourmet fruit basket are acceptable. It is also a nice gesture to present the bride with gifts that will help her to explore both new and familiar hobbies--a gift certificate for dance or cooking lessons will make an ideal present.

Who Brings Gifts

For a second wedding, it is not necessary for any of the guests to bring gifts, especially guests who attended the first ceremony for either party, according to etiquette. However, guests who have not attended the bride or groom's first wedding may feel obligated to bring a present for the couple to give at the reception. If it is the second wedding for one spouse, but a first wedding for the other, it is acceptable to bring gifts for the couple that will focus on the individual who is getting married for the first time.

Gifts from the Couple

Some encore couples choose to spend the rehearsal dinner showing their appreciation to family and friends, and presenting them with small gifts. The bride and groom can present gifts to their wedding party during this time, and may also want to give their parents small tokens of appreciation, especially if the parents have helped to pay for the second wedding in any way.

References

• I Do! Take Two: Second Wedding Etiquette
• Good Housekeeping: The New Rules of Wedding Etiquette
• The Knot: Remarriage--Getting Started