Ring Bearer Etiquette


Inviting a preschool boy to be a ring bearer is asking him to ignore a thousand impulses that beset him at any given moment to deliver those rings properly -- and do it in uncomfortable clothes. It’s a good thing that having a ring bearer is not a requirement. If you can handle the potential for surprises and choose to honor a young relative with the task, rest assured that he will add plenty of charm to your ceremony.

Practice, Practice, Practice

  • The ring bearer -- traditionally but not necessarily a boy -- is generally between the ages of 4 and 8 and walks down the aisle with or just before the flower girl, who is just ahead of the bride. His rings are tied to a pillow so that they can’t disappear. He hands them to the maid of honor and the best man and then sits with his parents. He needn't remain standing. Practice this several times, even before the official rehearsal. “Brides” recommends bribing him with a present after a perfect rehearsal and the promise of another one if he does a similarly grand job at the wedding.

Reception Duties

  • The ring bearer should sit with his parents at the reception too -- not at the front table. You may want to have him dance with the flower girl during the reception and pose for some pictures. Otherwise, he is off the clock. If you have enough worries, the maid of honor or best man can serve as the ring bearer instead.

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  • Photo Credit josie drever chu/iStock/Getty Images
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