Protocol for Sending Invitations

Formal invitations are used for weddings, christenings and ceremonial dinners.

From the most elaborate formal affair to the most casual get together, all social events have one important thing in common: no one shows up if you don't first issue an invitation. The protocol for sending invitations varies widely for different types of events. However, a few basic rules of etiquette should always be considered before an an invitation is issued.

Function

Casual invitations may be brightly colored.

The basic function of an invitation is to notify your invited guests of the date, time and location of your event. It should also clearly indicate who is issuing the invitation. A secondary function of an invitation is to establish the tone and perhaps even the theme for the occasion. A brightly colored invitation to a Fourth of July party will convey a much different feel than a formal wedding invitation engraved on a high-quality cream-colored card.

Types

There are many options to customize invitations to match the theme of your event.

Invitations may be printed, handwritten, oral or electronic, and different types of invitations are appropriate for each type of event. Obviously, formal invitations are typically used for more formal events such as weddings, balls and ceremonial dinners. Formal invitations are either engraved on white or cream-colored cards or handwritten on plain paper or paper decorated with a small monogram. They are typically written in the third person, as in "Mr. and Mrs. Harold Smith request the pleasure of your company..." Informal invitations usually include color and are written in a casual style.

Time Frame

Save the date cards are issued to let guests know that an invitation is forthcoming.

Wedding invitations are properly issued three to four weeks before the ceremony. In recent years it has also become common to issue "save the date" cards up to three months in advance to request that guests reserve a place on the calendar for an invitation to follow. Invitations to informal events may be issued one to two weeks in advance. The most important consideration in the timing of invitations is to allow your guests enough time to make any plans they need to in order to accept your invitation. This is especially important if guests will be traveling from out of town.

Features

Invitations should describe the nature of the occasion your guests are being invited to attend.

All invitations must include the date, time and location of the event. They should clearly state who is issuing the invitation, and they usually also include a note about the nature of the event. For example, an invitation to a retirement dinner should indicate the name(s) of those being honored. If you wish to know who is planning to attend your event in advance, you will need to include instructions for how your guests should R.S.V.P. This is usually addressed by asking guests to call or email the host by a certain date. In recent years, it has also become more common for invitations to include a note about proper attire for the event. Gifts should never be mentioned in an invitation except to politely request that no gifts be offered.

Considerations

Issuing a proper invitation is one way to demonstrate your skills as a host.

Many customs that were once considered important have become less so as our social interactions have become more casual. Party invitations are now routinely delivered by email, and these days many people do not provide their hosts with a timely R.S.V.P. If you do want to be socially correct, there are few ways you can demonstrate this desire more effectively than by issuing proper invitations.

References

• "The New Emily Post's Etiquette"; Elizabeth L. Post; 1975

Resources

• Emily Post's Wedding Planner
• Crane & Co. - Frequently Asked Questions